I've never joined a forum like this or shared things about myself anonymously online. This feels foreign and strange to me, but I'm getting to a place where I know I need help and to reach out. I look like everything is fine on the outside. Have a great job, friends, family, apartment- I am dying inside. It is painful for me to wake up and getting out of bed is painful every day. I can't do the littlest things. I seem so social and friendly and then collapse at home and can't function. It's like I'm sleepwalking through everything but seem so engaged and vibrant. I detest myself. I'm so tired all the time. I feel so alone. I have hearing loss and tinnitus and when I'm stressed out my ears ring louder and louder. Right now they're deafening. The hearing loss makes me feel even more separate and I can't keep up with conversation. I feel lost. I just want to go to sleep and keep sleeping. I have a giant project due for work tomorrow and I've tried all day to start and can't do it. I'm so lazy and worthless and just feel completely hopeless. My body hurts and I can't stop crying. Help.