Asking for help

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Josephine, Oct 16, 2016.

  1. Josephine

    Josephine Member

    I've never joined a forum like this or shared things about myself anonymously online. This feels foreign and strange to me, but I'm getting to a place where I know I need help and to reach out. I look like everything is fine on the outside. Have a great job, friends, family, apartment- I am dying inside. It is painful for me to wake up and getting out of bed is painful every day. I can't do the littlest things. I seem so social and friendly and then collapse at home and can't function. It's like I'm sleepwalking through everything but seem so engaged and vibrant. I detest myself. I'm so tired all the time. I feel so alone. I have hearing loss and tinnitus and when I'm stressed out my ears ring louder and louder. Right now they're deafening. The hearing loss makes me feel even more separate and I can't keep up with conversation. I feel lost. I just want to go to sleep and keep sleeping. I have a giant project due for work tomorrow and I've tried all day to start and can't do it. I'm so lazy and worthless and just feel completely hopeless. My body hurts and I can't stop crying. Help.
     
  2. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hi Josephine, my name is Brian welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time. Have you been diagnosed with anything physically or mentally, how long has this been going on? I'd suggest a medical by your doctor to rule out anything physical, then take it from there. There could be many reasons for feeling like this, including depression and the more we try to act normally and conceal it, the more energy it takes and leaves us utterly drained.
    Brian
     
  3. Josephine

    Josephine Member

    Brian thank you so much. It's been a while. I was raised to be like super polite and am kind of an overachiever and seem really friendly and together and i feel like i wear that identity like an old habit. You're so right- I'm so drained and exhausted from acting like it's all ok. I don't say how I feel a lot and that's why I came on here because I thought maybe I could anonymously and it would be easier but I'm still struggling. thank you for replying. I just feel so alone tonight and even though I have people in my life, I feel alone and like they don't really know me. Thank you for being kind.
     
  4. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    We're glad to have you join us, please feel free to post your feelings and problems here Josephine it's a safe site and no one will judge or harass you. Many of the people here suffer similar problems with anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts etc here we understand and will try and support you. You don't need to go through these things alone and there's also a chat room that's usually quite active, anyway good to meet you and if I can help in any way please pm me.
    Brian
     
  5. Josephine

    Josephine Member

    Thank you