@may71 thank you. Well, first of all, you know mw here but he doesn't know ANYTHING. I don't text him everyday, I never did after the break up. I never begged. I never called him crying or text him drunk or something like that.. My therapist says that I've always acted rationally, avoiding impulses and without drama even it I'm having an awful time. If he answers in minutes, fine. If he waits a week, fine too. I never complaint. I show him my happy side (one of my friends thinks that it's a mistake meking him think that I'm ok with everything but what else would I do?). Even when he didn't meet me last time, I didn't text him again, it was him saying "I am ashamed to text you now after having failed you" and I acted cool, like I haven't been crying for days. I'm dependant now, yes, but he doesn't know. And when we were together, I only became clingy at the end. I never stopped going out with my friends (he was less social than me and usually I had dinners and plans and he stayed in his home with his pets or his family) and he loved that part of me. He doesn't know about my situation now, he mustn't. I always say that if he gave me another chance, this wouldn't be like "ok, my life is perfect now, I'm happy forever". No, I am realistic and know that I would have a hard work to do with my insecuries and this "trauma". But I would be willing to. And I know that he would help. He is aware that he isn't acting perfectly, he told me sometimes. But nothing of this matters since I won't get him back.