SORRY FOR THE LONG POST
I need advice now.
As some of you may know, I'm in love with my ex after a year. I told many things in my story but I post here the whole story since break up until now.
We lived in different tows but near (one hour and a half by train), but distance was a problem for him. After breaking up (it started as a pause but... Even though, we needed that pause, in the last month I've been negative and needy) we kept texting each other. At first almost everyday, then he became distant, I didn't text him for a month and after that (spring) he started to feel more comfortable with me. During summer we texted each other a lot, once a week or more. He let me know that our connection was still there and that he still felt very attracted to me. He even texted sometimes telling that he had been looking at my photos before going to sleep. And for this birthday he ask me to sending a pic of me, as a gift (I did it and I sent him something more, an special gift that I've bought to him when we were together but he broke up with me before I gave it to him. He was amazed). Everything was going fine, I know it now, but then I couldn't see it.
But then it happened. I was about moving to his town for studies and I told him...And he told me that he was moving across the country, to his favorite city. I was devastated. I wanted to meet before he moved and he agreed. We even talked about what would happen when we saw each other and he told me "whatever it happens, a coffee, a dinner, a hug, a kiss...it doesn't mean that it is the last of us. We'll always have more opportunities to have more". But that meeting never happened. He had a chance to move earlier and didn't have time (he could have made it, but it wasn't the first time: each time I went to his city after the break up, he avoided to see me). So before he moved, we talked, he admitted that he had missed me and I decided to tell him that when I knew that I was going to live in the same town I thought about us, that we deserved more, that we still had the connection and that I wished we could have had another chance. He told me that he wasn't moving forever, just a few months (he wasn't relocated or something, he went for living the adventure) and that we could have that conversation again when he was back, but that I made him smile with what I said and he was very happy to know it. (it wasn't the first time after the break up he told me that I made him happy).
So he moved and we started to text less. It was almost always me initiating. In my bday, he was the first one in texting me, just at 00.00. And we got stucked in a strange zone between friends and hard flirting.
Then I traveled to his new city to visit friends. I told him a week before but he didn't read my message on time (sometimes he left me unread for days and another times he answered in minutes, it was a roulette). When he answered, I was there already and I only had a free night but he had to work. Ok, that's true but if he had read me before, we could have arranged a meeting. After I came back, I didn't text him, since he didn't read my last text. Ten days after, he texted me telling me that he was ashamed to text for having failed me when I went there. He stated that he obviously wanted to see me "and not only see you, in case you have any doubt". I don't undesrtand why he always avoids meeting in person but keeps texting me when he had lots of chances of stopping, for example that time or another I will tell following.
We texted a bit for Christmas, flirting-friends and then, as my psychologist suggested, I stop initiating. After 30 days, he texted. He was warm and flirty, and even suggesting something we could do together at distance (watching our favorite tv show, which we watched by distance and in person when we were dating). I answered him the following day and he texted back after 10 days, asking me a lot of questions (I loved that when we started dating and he knows it. He even asked for the first time how I was doing in his town, now that I study there). I answered (it was last Friday), and still no response.
I'm always anxious, fearing that he met another girl, and until now I was always wrong. But now... I don't know. He went to a party on Saturday and... I'm scared, very scared.
The thing is (and sorry for the super long post, I wanted to explain our story) that according to my psychologist and myself, I need to tell him how I feel and ask him for another chance. She thinks that must be face to face but as I told, that seems impossible,, He doesn't want to see me face to face, despite he says. So I need help. What can I say to him to convince him that it's better to be with me at distance that with another girl in his same city? We have a lot in common, we still have that connection and...we were special, I can't deny it, and probably he can't either. But distance. And if he has just met another girl (I hope it's only my imagination as always BUT. And I have to be prepared for the worst scenario)... I don't know if he is planning to come back soon, he said "a few months" and he left here his family and his pets (the most important things to him). And I wouldn't mind moving to his new city if neccesary, it's been my favorite city since I was 16 (well, now I hate it a little bit because it hurts) and some of my best friends live there. But that plans doesn't matter now, I need him to give me another chance and I don't know what to say to him for making him remember who we were and how happy I used to make him (and, as I told before, even after the break up).
My stage now was not texting until he does but I asked for an earlier appointment with my psychologist (this week, Wednesday or Thursday) in order to move forward and be able to text him first. I need to have two or three light conversations to set the mood before I tell him everything and asking for another chance. And with that conversations I could feel if he has meet somebody or not. And then...jump. Asking him for a second chance.
Any advice or feedback?
PLEASE, DON'T TELL ME TO GIVE UP AND MOVE ON, NOT NOT, I HAVE TO TRY AND I'M LOOKING FOR THE BEST WAY. Moving on it's something that I don't think I could never do, he is the love of my life. But now what I'm trying to do is getting him back and this is my last chance. I hope it isn't too late, but I am afraid that it is if he met someone.
If you read until here, BIG THANK YOU and sorry for being so tiresome.
I need advice now.
As some of you may know, I'm in love with my ex after a year. I told many things in my story but I post here the whole story since break up until now.
We lived in different tows but near (one hour and a half by train), but distance was a problem for him. After breaking up (it started as a pause but... Even though, we needed that pause, in the last month I've been negative and needy) we kept texting each other. At first almost everyday, then he became distant, I didn't text him for a month and after that (spring) he started to feel more comfortable with me. During summer we texted each other a lot, once a week or more. He let me know that our connection was still there and that he still felt very attracted to me. He even texted sometimes telling that he had been looking at my photos before going to sleep. And for this birthday he ask me to sending a pic of me, as a gift (I did it and I sent him something more, an special gift that I've bought to him when we were together but he broke up with me before I gave it to him. He was amazed). Everything was going fine, I know it now, but then I couldn't see it.
But then it happened. I was about moving to his town for studies and I told him...And he told me that he was moving across the country, to his favorite city. I was devastated. I wanted to meet before he moved and he agreed. We even talked about what would happen when we saw each other and he told me "whatever it happens, a coffee, a dinner, a hug, a kiss...it doesn't mean that it is the last of us. We'll always have more opportunities to have more". But that meeting never happened. He had a chance to move earlier and didn't have time (he could have made it, but it wasn't the first time: each time I went to his city after the break up, he avoided to see me). So before he moved, we talked, he admitted that he had missed me and I decided to tell him that when I knew that I was going to live in the same town I thought about us, that we deserved more, that we still had the connection and that I wished we could have had another chance. He told me that he wasn't moving forever, just a few months (he wasn't relocated or something, he went for living the adventure) and that we could have that conversation again when he was back, but that I made him smile with what I said and he was very happy to know it. (it wasn't the first time after the break up he told me that I made him happy).
So he moved and we started to text less. It was almost always me initiating. In my bday, he was the first one in texting me, just at 00.00. And we got stucked in a strange zone between friends and hard flirting.
Then I traveled to his new city to visit friends. I told him a week before but he didn't read my message on time (sometimes he left me unread for days and another times he answered in minutes, it was a roulette). When he answered, I was there already and I only had a free night but he had to work. Ok, that's true but if he had read me before, we could have arranged a meeting. After I came back, I didn't text him, since he didn't read my last text. Ten days after, he texted me telling me that he was ashamed to text for having failed me when I went there. He stated that he obviously wanted to see me "and not only see you, in case you have any doubt". I don't undesrtand why he always avoids meeting in person but keeps texting me when he had lots of chances of stopping, for example that time or another I will tell following.
We texted a bit for Christmas, flirting-friends and then, as my psychologist suggested, I stop initiating. After 30 days, he texted. He was warm and flirty, and even suggesting something we could do together at distance (watching our favorite tv show, which we watched by distance and in person when we were dating). I answered him the following day and he texted back after 10 days, asking me a lot of questions (I loved that when we started dating and he knows it. He even asked for the first time how I was doing in his town, now that I study there). I answered (it was last Friday), and still no response.
I'm always anxious, fearing that he met another girl, and until now I was always wrong. But now... I don't know. He went to a party on Saturday and... I'm scared, very scared.
The thing is (and sorry for the super long post, I wanted to explain our story) that according to my psychologist and myself, I need to tell him how I feel and ask him for another chance. She thinks that must be face to face but as I told, that seems impossible,, He doesn't want to see me face to face, despite he says. So I need help. What can I say to him to convince him that it's better to be with me at distance that with another girl in his same city? We have a lot in common, we still have that connection and...we were special, I can't deny it, and probably he can't either. But distance. And if he has just met another girl (I hope it's only my imagination as always BUT. And I have to be prepared for the worst scenario)... I don't know if he is planning to come back soon, he said "a few months" and he left here his family and his pets (the most important things to him). And I wouldn't mind moving to his new city if neccesary, it's been my favorite city since I was 16 (well, now I hate it a little bit because it hurts) and some of my best friends live there. But that plans doesn't matter now, I need him to give me another chance and I don't know what to say to him for making him remember who we were and how happy I used to make him (and, as I told before, even after the break up).
My stage now was not texting until he does but I asked for an earlier appointment with my psychologist (this week, Wednesday or Thursday) in order to move forward and be able to text him first. I need to have two or three light conversations to set the mood before I tell him everything and asking for another chance. And with that conversations I could feel if he has meet somebody or not. And then...jump. Asking him for a second chance.
Any advice or feedback?
PLEASE, DON'T TELL ME TO GIVE UP AND MOVE ON, NOT NOT, I HAVE TO TRY AND I'M LOOKING FOR THE BEST WAY. Moving on it's something that I don't think I could never do, he is the love of my life. But now what I'm trying to do is getting him back and this is my last chance. I hope it isn't too late, but I am afraid that it is if he met someone.
If you read until here, BIG THANK YOU and sorry for being so tiresome.
