Once when I had a severe bout of drowsiness I told a Buddhist monk that I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up again. He smiled and replied “It (Nirvana) doesn’t happen like that.” Recently I realized that my main wish was to always have refreshing breathing as I was only able to do when snoozing. Yesterday I had the idea in meditation of exhaling stale air emptying my lungs and then inhaling filling the lungs with fresh air. As a Buddhist I don’t aspire for eternal life in heaven which amounts to a state of limbo, or the annihilation that atheists expect after death. I realized that I don’t desire 0% functioning. Buddhism aims for 100% functioning during life and after death. My current metta phrase is “May I be functioning well, happily and peacefully.” I am able to wish that for others too. With metta (goodwill) / dhammapal.