they say it was an assault but i'm not so sure i mean, we were both drunk things happened and i couldn't stop them i said i didn't want to and that it hurt but i couldn't stop him i couldn't get up why didn't i get up and leave? he said it would be okay the thing is i wasn't raped but he still touched me and it hurt there was nothing good about it but maybe i was asking for it but i don't think i was why couldn't i leave? why didn't i get up and walk away before he did things that i wasn't ready for? what the hell was wrong with me? they say it was an assault but i'm not so sure cuz we didn't have sex i should be over it but then why do i feel so used so dirty the worst part is he called me the next day all freaked out this boy i hardly knew and asked me what had happened he didn't even remember i'm just glad that i left when i did cuz if i hadn't have left we would have sex unprotected and i would have hated myself for it so i walked home alone in the dark at 2.30 in the morning lost and confused crying till i couldn't see i hated myself for that night for allowing things to happen i just wanted to have a good time i didn't want to kiss a boy that night i didn't want him to touch me to see me naked that was my body and even though i protested i couldn't get up and go i was stuck there and everything was in slow motion things were fuzzy and it hurts and i should be over it.