I went in to further defer my exam, which I was supposed to write today. I simply wasn't prepared enough, considering I haven't slept more than 6-8 hours since Sunday morning, studying for my other 3 deferred exams which I wrote these past few days. Considering that I'm a breath away from being kick out of the house, never to see any of them again, plotting my death when school starts, and the self harm, it's surprising I managed 3 of them. Early this morning, while everyone was still sleeping, I was frantically trying to retrieve the blade from a razor, to no avail. I managed to find one of my sister's pencil sharpeners, unscrewed the blade off and sliced my arm again. I went to the faculty office and told her that I wasn't prepared. She was under the impression that I was too lazy to study. She said she couldn't do anything since it wouldn't reflect the school's values to defer the exam just because I didn't study; I needed a medical reason. I told her I had one. She accused my of lying-first saying I wasn't ready, then asserting I was sick. I'm sorry, but if this was just a really bad flu, I wouldn't hesitate to tell you. But it's not. And I'm not too keen on flaunting all of this stuff in front of a stranger unless I have to. Stupid bitch. If these are the school's values, then I guess she did a fucking stellar job at upholding them by calling me a liar. Just what I needed. This is why I don't talk much anymore. I went to the bathroom and silently cried for a good half hour. No one has made me cry in ages and it's surprising that it turns out to be an inane asswipe who lost her soul to her job. I don't even know why I was crying. I feel like cutting again. If only I wasn't so fucking tired. Fucking hell. Now I have to go see that doctor again to beg for a medical note.