Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Stranger1, Mar 9, 2009.

  1. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I have turned into an A#1 ASSHOLE!! I'm drinking again because my AD isn't helping. I told the shrink when we switched back to it that I have to be on a high dose because that is the only way it works for me..He put me on a low dose..It isn't helping so I started drinking again to help control my thoughts..I have a bottle of whiskey, rum, and vodka, and a twelve pack in the fridge..What am I going to drink today?? I am at the point of shutting myself down!!! I have failed three of the people closest to me in the last week and half. Now I am afraid I have let down a fourth!! I don't want to hurt anyone thats why I think I should just close myself off..That way I don't do anymore damage..I don't know what else to say I have to many thoughts running thru my head right now and they are getting all jumbled up together!! I am sorry I haven't been there for them and I refuse to have them suffer because of me!!!
  2. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    you are in no way an asshole joseph.. far from it imo x
  3. SpencerA

    SpencerA Well-Known Member

    :wub: just cause you're going through shit doesn't make you an asshole honey.
  4. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    dont feel like you have failed anyone honey. you cant be there 24/7 for everyone. its too draining a thought. you need to have time to yourself as well. and we all love you to pieces and know full well that you definitly are NOT an asshole. so stop thinking like that :hug:
  5. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    Even at low doses, some meds don't mix well w/alcohol. You might want to check into that before you do something you didn't intend.

    Hope you get the help you need, and you don't seem like an a-hole at all from what I've read of your posts.
  6. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    look i'll give you arse (making fun of my boar hunting techniques) but full blown asshole sorry now way. you ahve been nothing short of an angel to all that know you ansd even those that dont hun. you've hit a wall and stretched yourself out to thin of late Joeph and i know those that you have ben helping dont fel like you have faileds them at all. now the guilt trip...... if you shut yourself down completely how can those you have helped return the support and love? please oput away the rum vodka and beer. you kep the whiskey if it's rye (lol) and i'l be right there to help you put that one away. hun you are being so hard on yourself and dont need to . dont you know yet those that lvoe you here suffer when you suffer and we dont suffer because of you think yiou have failed us. you cant possibly do that you are too big of a gentle soul and kind hearted person to hurt a fly. sorry I"m a little jumbled right now (lol) but i hope you can junderstand what i'm trying to day. your loved here big guy and so many are here to help you just like you help us.
  7. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    hey joseph

    i know this is playing on your mind but no one will even think of you as an asshole, i can understand the need to drink to help yourself out but remember in moderation it will be ok, excessive drinking will make you feel worse.

    try to get your meds changed if possible.
    you have a great army of support here, dont be afraid to use it

    take care
  8. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member


    Please don't close yourself off or shut yourself down, let your friends help.

    I'm pretty certain you haven't failed anyone hun. I know it sucks to be back at a low dose but you'll get back up to a high dose soon enough, your psych is just being cautious :hug:.

    Like Andy said, alcohol in moderation is fine, but when drinking to excess along with the meds isn't really going to help, the good feelings are only short lived & the depression that hits after is usually a million times worse :hug:.

    I know you love helping everyone out here but please don't do it at the risk of your own health. It's very easy to lose yourself in other peoples problems in an attempt to forget your own, I know you are one of the guiltiest for doing this. Please remember that we love you loads & we want to help you.

    Have you spoke with Gina lately?

    Take care of yourself, I'm always here for you.

    Claire xx

    P.S. You are definitely not an asshole :whack:.
  9. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    joseph - i only saw this now. . . late.

    you're my dear friend and i love you. you are generous beyond a fault. and everyone here cares much for you - and especially in the closest circle that knows you the most. you have helped many.
    right now we need you to help yourself. you have failed no one. but now it is your turn to lean on us.

    we care for you . . and we won't let go of your hand. . . keep in touch with me . you are in no way, an a**hole. you're a love. :grouphug: xxxx
  10. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    Joseph, I am breaking my new rule here.... just for you! You have failed NOBODY, honestly.
    Remember our little family? We are here waiting for you 'Dad'! come on and let US help YOU!!!
    Lea :arms:
  11. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Call the doc and let him know the dosage isn't working. Then take the alcohol and pour it down the sink. You know what it does to you. You would never hurt someone intentionally. Chin up Joseph. :hug:
  12. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Hi Joseph, I've only just seen this as I've been offline for a couple of weeks. You are one of the most caring and sensitive people I have ever come across. The help you give people here is of immense value. There is no way you are an asshole. You are a great guy who is going through a hard time and who needs to have his meds properly sorted. Show yourself the same compassion you show others and know we are here to help in whatever way we can. We all have our dark periods. Drinking too much is not the answer. Be strong and stay safe. Simon.
  13. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Just wanted to say thank you for your thoughts..My shrink upped my AD and put me on a new med for skyzophrenia so I'll see what happens.I have also learned my lesson about spreading my self to thin.. Thank you again!!
  14. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Glad to see you back Joseph.

    Was worried about you.