Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by nolongerknow, May 1, 2013.

  1. nolongerknow

    nolongerknow Active Member

    At the beginning of this year I enrolled in a course to do my senior years of schooling. It's effecting me but i honestly don't want to be doing anything else right now. I can't work (paranoia) so the course is good because I only have to attend a few hours a day, although there is lots of study at home. Well, i crashed badly the week before the end of the first term. I have schizophrenia and i could see the beginning of my spiral so made contact with a new doctor and saw a psychologist (i recently moved states to live back with my mum) . I act like I am really social, i am friendly and a fairly decent in conversation (funny, even witty), but, every time I leave my classes i become extremely paranoid and my head replays every word i said to another person and interpret there facial expressions creatively and twists my thoughts to a point where everyone hates me. Really to the core of me I just feel so fucking unloved it's ridiculous.

    I dropped Chemistry today because it was just amplifying my stress, plus i don't like doing pracs because it's a group thing. The main thing on my mind though is an english assignment requiring me to write a personal journal answering pre-set questions. They are very personal and for me to do the assignment well i need to be honest in my journal entries. Well my life has been kinda chaotic and fucked up making me scared to do the assignment..

    going through schooling with a mental illness is confusing to say the least, but i am adjusting things as i go..

    any tips or feelings would be appreciated..

    Thanks for letting me vent.. I am 25 btw:wink-new:
  2. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry it is difficult for you but sounds like you are doing a lot to help yourself as best possible. I hope your new new Dr has some ideas of treatment that help as well.
  3. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    Are you on any meds to help with the mental illness?

    As for the assignent can you let them know that the assignment is rather triggering for you right now and see what they suggest.
  4. Zueri

    Zueri Well-Known Member

    Reading through your efforts to get stuff done is inspiring!

    My only advice would be --

    1. Keep your eyes in the prize! Set yourself realistic educational goals and work on making them into reality.

    2. Professors at most institutions are pretty understanding of mental health conditions, as long as you let them know what's going on with you. Most are willing to work with you, as long as you demonstrate that you actually care about the class. Just give them a head's up if you think your situation warrants special consideration.

    3. Don't forget to take time out of your week and realize how much you've accomplished. When you're feeling depressed, it's pretty hard to forget what you've managed to achieve.

    Good luck in your endeavors, and keep up the hard work! :)