assumptions

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by cloudy, Sep 14, 2010.

  1. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    when i was younger i knew i was straight. and on into my teens up to the very day i entered the hellish life of being schizophrenic, bipolar, and ocd, it never changed my orientation. i love my boyfriend with all my tiny heart. i go to a small coummunity college where i live. yesterday, i was accused of being a lesbian by a middle aged black woman, a mexican lady who is around my age, and what appeared to be a gay man in a grocery store. i know i live in the twilight zone, but that is a bit much.

    the guy in the grocery store set me off into a manic episode and i started yelling at him and also screamed, hail, satan! i had a laughing and crying spell before i could calm myself down. i am plain jane in looks because i really don't wear make up much mainly because it won't stay on my face. as for jewelry, i am a jewelry maker, the only thing i wear are lucite bracelets.

    i just want to know what the hell is going on and why this is happening. i keep thinking well maybe my mental illness is sending off signals that are misinterpreted. my bf says he thinks that someone has started rumors about me and thus the end result is that of being called a lesbian. a counselor told me, why do you care what other people think. i said, i have to be around the accusers for 3 months of class, i could be set off again. i think these folks are closeted gay or bi. jealousy is another issue. i think i may end up in the crazy ward eventually if i don't start blocking these people out like i know i can.

    i try to see the humor in it sometimes. i have to do some major ignoring. wish me luck to get through it.

    kinna :sigh:
     
  2. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    I'd like to say to them: "Suck my rainbow."

    Be interesting to see what those random people think if you said that :).
     
  3. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    If these people approach you again about it just say something along the lines of 'While it's none of your buisiness what i do in my private life, i do actually have a boyfriend and i don't appreciate being treated like this'.

    Something to that effect.
     
  4. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    yeah, thanks. i am waiting for one of them to actually say it to my face. i just worry about being physically harmed because they think i'm gay. i told my bf that today and he says he doubt it would happen. i hate confrontation unless i am being threatened or harmed.
     
  5. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    You would be physically harmed?
     
  6. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    there are stupid people out there that will do that.
     
  7. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    That is true. I think that with these three idiots, you would most likely not be physically hurt, especially if one of them looked gay himself.

    Unless he's a SHF
     
  8. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    i live in a twilight zone. they are all female. i have african american lady in her 50's worried about my sexual orientation. feel sorry for her. she's wasting her life's energy and time worried/talking shit about me. i wish i was that special lol. bullies.
     
  9. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I am confused now.
     
  10. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    two females and a male harassed me in one day.^
     
  11. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    Oh, the wording was just confusing me a bit.
     
  12. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    a lady in one of my classes has most likely accused me of being a lesbian to our teacher. the teacher started acting weird today around me, like she was worried about something concerning me, scared to be around me. as i am schizoaffective/ocd, this makes me very uncomfortable. even though i can't verify that that infact happened, it is the usual behavior i get when someone believes another's accusations. i don't know if i can keep going in this class but i am going to do my best.

    i get worried that because i am being accused of being gay, that someone will believe her or whoever runs their mouth and they will HARM ME PHYSICALLY. thought about suicide the other day because i am emotionally drained and feel like i will never get a job because someone is going to think i'm gay.

    i am creeped out when some female looks me in the eye and then assumes i'm gay. they'll get this judgmental look. so basically i have to stay in the house for the rest of my life b/c of idiots.

    ? i hope that when i finally go off the deep end someday, that its short and quick to the point. if i'm gonna get a needle full of thorazine, then so be it.
     
  13. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    That is really a terrible position to be in. I'm assuming from your post that people are not very accepting of gay people where you live.
     
  14. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    i don't know how to put this, but i don't think the actual gay folks here get messed with very much. of course, i've never asked any of those folks if they get harassed. i've got one in a class where yesterday she was slamming books and things around. towards the end of the class she was wearing her headphones and slamming things around. prior to that, when i was standing with my teacher who was grading something of mine, i heard her say "lesbian". i have to learn to not pay her any attention. so two classes of wonderful fun for 2 more months.
     
  15. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I am gay, and have never been attacked because of my sexuality. I have, however, had multiple people call me "fag", but nothing too personal.

    At least you will never see her again, after this class is over.
     
  16. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    yes, i hope i never see these people again. its taken a toll on my mind.
     
  17. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    well i know i am going to hell just because i am mentally ill. i must say my goodbyes. i am tired of this shit illness.
     
  18. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    If your religion declares that mental illness is worthy of hell, then the people that wrote it were crazier than you and I will ever be.
     
  19. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    pretty much why i choose not to be a holy roller.
     
  20. SuicidalAgain

    SuicidalAgain Well-Known Member

    Don't let those crappy religion beliefs make you 100% sceptic. You can believe anything you want, people use their religion quotes to their convenience. I saw somewhere that, according to the bible, it's also an abomination to eat shellfish and people eat shellfish and tell us "fags" that we will burn in hell because homosexuality is an abomination.
    What's so wrong about loving? If there's such a thing as hell, then we're not going there because we love.

    I'm not going to suggest showing off your boyfriend, although you do what you want to do, but... Don't they know you have a boyfriend? Those people are kinda - no, REALLY - stupid if they're discriminating you for something THEY THINK you are. Whenever you get the chance, you should say that those are all filthy lies that someone made up. It's up to them if they wanna believe it, but at least you tried. Apart from that, there is nothing else you can do and there's no point in letting those rumours drain you.
    Keep posting :)