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At a loss now

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~Claire

Well-Known Member
#1
I had an appt with my Dr today. My intention was to discuss the suicidal feelings which seem to be getting stronger by the day.

I wasn't expecting miracles but I didn't expect to come away feeling worse either.

I know I am lucky as I already have a lot of professional support from my cpn & psychologist but I still feel like I am losing control & breaking down. The Dr asked if I was capable of harming myself & I told him I was. It's all ok though cos I don't live alone :confused:.

He went on to say that he was at a loss of what to do next as I was already getting support from the cpn & psychologist. He knows the meds haven't shown an improvement in the 10 or so weeks that I have been taking them but he still wants me to continue with them. He says there is no point in changing them cos I have already tried the other meds that he would have suggested. Ho hum, he asked if I had ever seen a psychiatrist, I said yes, about 18 months ago. Did I feel they were any help? Evidently not seeing as they discharged me after a couple of sessions & I am no better for the experience.

So that's his plan of action...keep going with meds, cpn & psychology. He will also refer me to psychiatry again, just for their input!

What's the point though? I know myself that when I am in crisis there is no way in hell that I would ever phone my cpn.

I'm just so over it all, it's like I'm dead already. The outcome of todays appt has just multiplied my suicidal feelings greatly.
 

kenny

Well-Known Member
#2
I'm sorry to hear this. How much does your fiance know about your suicidal thoughts?

What meds are you on just now? I'm on Citalopram (maximum doseage 60mg) and sometimes I'm not convinced it makes any difference. I tend to come away from my appointments feeling very low so my GP has given me a limited supply of Diazepam to take the edge off when I'm feeling so low at these flashpoints.

If talking would help I'm happy to listen. I might not be able to offer much advice but sometimes just having someone listen can be a benefit.

Take care
 
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