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At A Loss Of Love

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Miss Happy Eeyore, Aug 6, 2012.

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  1. Miss Happy Eeyore

    Miss Happy Eeyore New Member

    Ive been having trouble with things lately .. In the past Ive attempted suicide 3 times in 3 months . After someone found out I went and got help in a mental hospital . Things were better for a while until the rumors started . That I was in an insane asylum , that I was doing things with people, that I was pregnant, and just many hurtful things and after a while I just ignored them because they had become so common . But while I was ignoring them , thinking things were better they were worse . I began failing my classes, being mean to my friends, pushing away people that loved me , and just overall doing things I always said I would never do . After that I realized I had an issue but stopped seeing my therapist because she , like everyone else, felt like I didnt want or need her anymore . I never told anyone how much it hurt but it did . Not soon after my boyfriend who had been by my side from the beginning of my worsening depression left without any sort of notice or goodbye . I started getting into the habit of self harm and feeling like I was unloved . After school was over I went on vacation , went to camp , spent time with my friends, and even got a new boyfriend . Things were going great but then for some reason they got a whole lot worse . I had issues with my family , I was always arguing with my friends , I realized my boyfriend was only after one thing, and for the second time the rumors started going around and they were a whole lot worse . Now I've learned to deal with the unfairness life brings but I always wonder why things like that happen to me . I honestly don't see a point of life sometimes and I've tried counseling, medication, treatment, and many other things but nothings worked . So at this point Ive given up on trying to get help . Instead I stay here and hope for something to change things . All I want is a change to see life the way normal people do . To look forward to waking up and being healthy and going on about life instead of wishing for everything to just end .
  2. triedtoomanytimes

    triedtoomanytimes Well-Known Member

    " Instead I stay here and hope for something to change things . "

    There is something will do that, but it's very tough and can be a very lonely road. I think we have to take solace and strength from those we meet along the way.
    believe in yourself, you're stronger than you think...

    best wishes
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