at a loss

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Wastingecho, Mar 9, 2010.

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  1. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    still no disability forms from my company yet

    called the group that approval medical disability leave - they are sending me more forms and the nurse assigned to my case will call me tomorrow

    can't figure out why but i'm not feeling quite human right now and that hurts

    mood is all over the place

    feel like my life is on-hold/stalled/going nowhere
  2. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    It's going to be ok, wastingecho.

    Sometimes these things take time. Just be patient. Things will work out, just you see.
  3. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    i just wish it didn't have to be this hard

    if wishes were horses...
  4. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Yeah, I know. When I had access to shot-term disability, I never used it. I was becoming increasingly delusional. The meds I take are to keep me grounded. I am not looking forward to possibly going off my meds, due to lack of funding where I am getting treatment.
  5. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    i forgot that tomorrow is my son's birthday - way to go

    helluva dad don't you think
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    At least you remembered it b4 it yes, good Dad...big hugs, J
  7. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I agree. At least you haven't forgotten the birthday, and realized it was too late. You're a good dad.
  8. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    no, i didn't remember

    i had to be reminded by my daughter

    if she had not come down from college for a summer job interview, i would have screwed that up too
  9. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    You're seeing it as another reason to beat yourself up and make yourself feel bad. However, really, you have a chance to not let it matter that you didn't remember, by sorting things out so that he has a great day.

    Are there any things you could use to help yourself remember important days? Most of us who suffer with depression will struggle to remember all these things, some people might write in a diary, or stick postits around, or something like that. Maybe worth a shot?
  10. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I agree with the post-it proposition. My parents have to remind me about stuff through post-it notes
  11. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    nothing else important to remember other than my anniversary

    i shouldn't have forgotten his birthday - i just want to forget my own
  12. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Your daughter's birthday?
  13. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    meant for the rest of this year
  14. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Ah, that's cool then. Takes the pressure off.
  15. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    doesn't stop me from feeling like shit right now
  16. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    What are you going to do about sorting out something for your son's birthday?

    What you have to remind yourself is that you are human. That makes you fallable and as fallable beings, we ALL make mistakes. You made a mistake but its not a biggie because nothing actually went wrong and he doesn't know. You can rectify this. You don't need to use it as a reason to make yourself feel bad, because you're making yourself feel bad for being human; you can't change that. Just do what needs to be done to ensure that a, he has a great day, and b, it doesn't happen again.

    Mistakes happen, its about learning from them, and how we deal with that, that is important.
  17. flyingdutchmen

    flyingdutchmen Well-Known Member

    yeah i know how that feels, i forget most birthdays (mother,brother) unless i get remembered at the very last moment. sometimes people remember me a week in advance lol, like i am able to think a week ahead.come back in 6 days pls. i usualy try to save them as some kind of alarm on my cellphone. i hate my own birthday (nothing to celibrate who would wanna celebrate a losers birth) and therefore probably all other birthdays as well. dont take it to hard Echo, sometimes i feel ashamed but i dont think we should feel very bad because of it. i know its not an excuse but we got our own problems right.
    sorry you feel bad because of it, but comeon man dont use everything what happens to you to tell yourself how terrible you are. we dont believe your terrible anyway, at least not i. cheer up a bit bit Echo and hang in there. how are things at home since you have someone more in the house?
  18. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    getting him something is not the issue, yes i'm going to do that

    but i can't forgive myself for forgetting in the first place after the crappy birthdays i had - last party in 4th grade when no one came

    one of the reasons i hate my birthday and don't WANT acknowledgment of it

    but my kids deserve better and they deserve better from me
  19. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    But he's not going to have a crappy birthday. And THAT is the important thing.
  20. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    but i'm NOT supposed to forget these things!

    this is my FAMILY!

    i can't screw things up - i can't fail anymore

    i just can't
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