I feel totally alone, even though i'm in a room full of people. Last night everyone was having fun and trying to include me...but I just felt shut off and alone. I felt guilty for not being able to respond positively to my friends, but I couldn't seem to turn off the growing depression in me. Normally I'd go to my best friend, and he'd talk to me, help me to feel better...we were supposed to see each other this weekend, I was going to travel 400 miles by train to spend the weekend at his apartment..but the week I was to buy the tickets he told me not to come, he didn't want to see me. This weekend is hard enough as it is, but being around my roommates while they each have their best friend with him and have all their inside jokes and connections...its like this huge trigger to remind me my best friend not only blew me off but told me he didn't want to help me anymore last time I had a crisis moment. I felt unwanted, burdensome, useless, and just plain bad. I'm trying all kinds of distractions to help me get through this weekend, but so far they have all failed. I feel at a loss of what to do before this depression (which I've been suffering from my whole life, but has been worse the past three months and continues to get worse, even with meds and therapy) gets worse and comes to that "point of no return"... I feel like I am in a thick forest at night. the moon is hidden by the trees and further hidden by thick clouds, so not even a light breeze can shift things to get just enough light in to help me find my way. My flashlight battery is about to die, the light grows dimmer and dimmer. The path is no longer lit, and I can't see where the edge of the cliff is anymore.. If I stay still, I will be devoured by the creatures of the forest...if I move forward, I will surely fall to my death. How do I find a new path..?