I am in such a state at this point in life, I dont know how to make it anymore. Lets just say i never had a great past... my ex bf who did enough to ruin my life still texts me and says shit..even his new gf is doing that now. The girl who was once my best friend, sends hate mails with enough swear words and crap..but wont tell why she broke the friendship. Everybody hates me from my past... i had the worst reputation in school.. there were so many rumours and all those insults! And ofcourse lets not forget to add in the sexual molestation . I am in college now..with the hope to start over new. But something went wrong again..people are talking about me..giving me looks..laughing at me..pointing...i dont get it. I still couldnt figure out what exactly is going on..dont even have true friends here in college because i have got trust issues. I m freaking out..hope the thing that has been spread is not what I am suspecting. That will kill me. The only good thing about my life is my good grades and my loving parents. But all these shitty problems.. i just cant take it anymore. I have tried so hard to move on..but i just cant..not like this. I so want to kill myself right now..but cant make the guts to do it..otherwise i swear i would have. I am so lost..so dead inside..so hopeless. Am i such a bad person?? Why did this happen to me? Why did God choose me to suffer? Ho should i deal with all these shit..all these people? Should i keep replying to all the texts and hate mails..how can i ever find out what is being spread of me? Nobody will tell! How can i stop people from having a misconception aboutit ? how can i live a normal life ?