At an end

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Countryrider13, Aug 29, 2016.

  1. Countryrider13

    Countryrider13 New Member

    I have been depressed on and off for years. Lost touch with friends, no family, my dad hates me for no reason. I recently hit an all time low. Moved away from my fiance after stress induced arguments. I love him to death and feel I've lost him cause I moved over an hour away to an unfamiliar place with an old friend who puts me down at times. My fiance and I both lost our vehicles and home in the process. I was able to land another job, but my heart is broken, I feel lost. I've lost hope and have recently wanted to end my life. I don't know what keeps me around. Not sure what to do, I fear of i seek help lose my 2 kids in the process.
     
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hugs. I am sorry that you are feeling so down. Seeing a professional would probably be a good idea.
     
  3. OCDNihilism

    OCDNihilism Well-Known Member

    Seek help!! Easier said then done, at least for me.. Did you ever seek help before? I don't think so by what you told. I am very young, am trying to change myself, and part of the process is getting in touch with other people and try to help. I am not at all the most indicated people to help, I get discourahed because of it a little, but you should seek help.. I will do it for the first time in the coming weeks. If depression is all you suffer from, not more complex disorders that can happen, you can find help in medication and people with better advice then me. They know what they are doing, even when you don't think so, some I hope, at least.. :). You need your kids, your kids need you. Go seek help, no one is going to take your kids away, unless there is something you don't want to reveal here. Suicide is scary, and you can fail at it.. Fear suicide more then life right now. Seek help, just as you did here :).
     
    calvinandhobbs likes this.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello @Countryrider13 and welcome to SF. This is a safe community for you to open up about your issues. I would recommend getting professional help, im sorry you are going through all of this, just know you are not going through this alone. I hope you stay here and keep talking to us.
     
    calvinandhobbs likes this.
  5. Countryrider13

    Countryrider13 New Member

    Thanks for the feedback. I tried calling my mom for support but that didn't go well. I think a broken heart (even though i know deep down leaving was best for me) and losing my independence is huge. I guess I just cry through things and keep taking days as they come. I tried taking two friends today, and though they're supportive and want what's best, they have their opinions that I didn't like.... Like moving again and i have to try harder. Remind me as to why I keep things to myself for the most part.
     
  6. Striking

    Striking Well-Known Member

    I feel for you. You made your decisions because you felt they were what was best for you at the time, whatever the results. It takes some courage to do this because of the pain this can cause for others that you may love.

    Friends, counselors, family usually mean well, but their words and advice can sometimes cause us distress. Be grateful that those you asked tried to help and leave their words and advice behind.

    It is not selfish to put yourself first. Think on your choices with that in mind. It reads as if you are on this track already and I wish you the best in making the wisest decisions possible.