at least your not in pain anymore dad

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by younglad, Mar 21, 2007.

  1. younglad

    younglad Member

    lets start from the beginning. My dad had not been well since his alcoholic mum disowned him two years ago. once was a perfectionist he started geting sloppy with his diy work. he has always had a problem with his temper but never hit anyone. the last two years he seemed to be getting worse until we went on holiday in September. we had a great holiday i though, but when we got home he got upset and told my Mum he was good for not losing hs temper because he got annoyed.

    Up until September i Believed i was very lucky as i was the only person i knew that still lived with both biological parents. After the holiday my mum decided she'd had enough. she left him but he blackmailed her back by overdosing. another week and a family friend gave her the strength to relise that she needed to leave him. so she left him but helped him rebuild his life as he was totally reliant on her.

    during this time i met my girlfriend and started feeling weird as i found out that my Aunt and Uncle where splitting as well. my last conversation with my dad as i was leaving to come back home i told him how weird it was getting into such a serious relationship when everyone i knew was splitting up. he told me to not let that stop us.

    a week went past and i was feeling bad because i was so busy with work i couldn't get round to see my dad, on Friday 27/10/06 i was texting and calling my dad to let him know that i was going round to see him. i tried several times but got no answer or reply. i started getting worried at about 4 so i raced to his house to see him sensing something wasn't right.

    I rung my Aunt who he was staying with and she raced home to let me in. the loft hatch was open with the light on up there so i thought he was working. however there was no ladder. so i tried climbing up to say hello, i was met with the sight of him hanging from a rafter. My aunt caming racing back in the house with the ladder hearing my screams and i climbed up passing the phone that was caling 999 to her. i managed to cut him down but Rigor had already started setting in.

    I don't think the whole thing has hit me yet as i still don't quite believe it has happened.

    i was angry at him as he done it knowing that the first person to find him would have been my uncle who's son from another marriage done the same thing two years ago.

    in his eyes everyone was leaving him and he couldn't cope so he thought he would end his suffering there and then.
     
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry younglad. I hope you are able to come to terms with all that has happened. It may not sink in for a very long time and then one day just hit you. I can't imagine finding my father like that. I did find a very close friend and that image has never left me and it has been 27 years now. There are many thoughts and emotions you will go through. Remember that you can make it through them no matter how difficult it may seem at the time. Don't give up hope. Sounds cliche, I know and I am sorry for that. I will keep you in my thoughts. :hug: