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at my high weight *freaking out*

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by alison, Nov 3, 2010.

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  1. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    Okay - to kind of summarize my eating habits over the past 5 yrs or so, I used to be an emotional eater, then to lose weight I started restricting (basically I would fast for a few days, eat for a day, and then fast for a few days) and got to my low weight. Then I had trouble restricting, so bulimia came along and I sort of maintained.. then gained a little, but not too much. Than attempts at recovery mixed with binging w/out purging consistently led to gaining weight. Now I purge sometimes and occasionally fast for a few days, but mostly just binge and I hadn't been brave enough to weigh myself for 6 months or so.. but this morning I was brave and weighed myself.. and oh.my.god. I'm at a new high weight.

    I don't know what to do. Being overweight is unhealthy. Throwing up is unhealthy. I'm at a point where I either eat everything or nothing, and eating nothing is unhealthy. I wish I could eat normal healthy amounts, but I can't.

    I don't know, this is more than a rant than anything. ughhh
  2. MistyMaisy

    MistyMaisy Well-Known Member

    Hey o:
    What caught my attention is when you said "being overweight is unhealthy." I know a lot of overweight people that are healthier than most of the normal weighted people are. And about eating.. Why not try pineapples or strawberry's, dipped in chocolate sauce (my stomach started rumbling :p)? It's healthy and pineapples get a bit sicky after a while and with the strawberry's, I think the chocolate would get a bit bleh after a while. Or, high carb stuff, like pasta. :3
    Sorry if this isn't what you wanted :p I was unsure (and paranoid xD)
  3. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    Don't be unsure or paranoid!! I don't know what I wanted.. I was just stressed and needed a vent. So thank you for listening and being kind to me :)

    I know its possible to be overweight and healthy, but most people like that tend to have muscle or something which makes their BMI say they're overweight, but they're really toned and in good shape, you know? I have zero muscle, I'm all fat lol. Also, people say I look 'normal weighted' but I'm really tall and have a huge frame (according to charts online based on my wrist & neck diameters I have a large frame) so I look thinner than I am - I really do have lots and lots of fat that is just kind of hidden by the rest of my body & my linebacker shoulders and long limbs. There's fat everywhere and its not healthy. icky icky

    Chocolate makes me feel sick, but I do like fruit! I think I'm going to try to stock up on fruits and veggies tomorrow. Maybe if I binge all day long, but on low-cal veggies, I can get some semblance of control back?

    sorry, I'm rambling and whining. I'm just overwhelmed I guess. It's hard because my doctor will say 'alison - eat less and lose weight' and my therapist and psychiatrist will say 'alison - eat every day, don't puke, and stop weighing yourself' I know there's a healthy middle, but I don't know how to do that. So my options on any given day are to fast, binge, or binge/purge.
  4. helium

    helium Member

    hi alison!

    i too have wrestled weight issues. i'm also an emotion eater, and i'm very very emotional haha. if you're the kind of person who just likes to constantly be chewing or the act of bringing food to your mouth is satisfying you could try stocking up on pickles, cucumbers celery and carrots. they don't give much nourishment besides vitamins but they're low or no calorie snacks that you could munch on all day long and not have to feel guilty about. i also like making my own popsicles with the old juice tricks so i can have sweet treats that aren't crammed with sugar. as for the kind of foods you eat, you could just try and make sure you only keep low fat foods in your house, that makes it harder to eat unhealthy foods because you would have to go out of your way to get them.

    i know you can't just change your eating habits right away but if you're having those days where you don't want to eat, make yourself have a few lowfat string cheeses or something along those lines, because your body needs protein to function properly. if you're going to eat very little you should definitely make sure its only what your body needs so i wouldn't go with sweets or even fruits. i would also take vitamins to supplement your lack of food intake on those days, a simple multivitamin would do perfectly.

    i hope this helps you and if you need someone to talk to about food feel free to message me!
  5. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    That's good advice! Thanks! :)
  6. foreverforgotten

    foreverforgotten Well-Known Member

    sounds like me :3
  7. Pow

    Pow Well-Known Member

    Try research different options when it comes to diets. Maybe eating healthy daily can be better than starving for a few days then eating alot.
    Prepare meals that you like and try lean to healthier options.
    At the end of the day weight is different for everyone, sometimes being abit overweight is healthier than being underweight.
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