So I am at my office today trying real hard not to look suicidal. My logon did not work (I think it's because I am in my office) so I created a new one. When I get home I'll get back to the old one and see why it did not work. I have 3 hours to go to meet with the VP and see if I can find new job here, my old job is history. Right this minute I am stable enough for the meeting, but during the commute here was hell. Several times I wanted to turn around and go back to my bed and day dream. That's what I do dream about what could have been had I not screwed up, and/or killing myself. Anyway, I thought I would update for anyone who cares.