And then what? When you can't find a job with insurance benefits, your apnea mask is failing, so you can't sleep but you can't afford a new mask, and the car... which you don't own... but has been in the shop five times in a month, is now dying while driving again... and you are still awaiting pending legal charges.... but can't afford an attorney... When you run out of money, and have no cards left to play.... what are you waiting for exactly? At some point, you have no choice but to give in and give up. I was here 15 months ago... lost job, vehicle blew up... Here I am again. I'm just so tired of fighting an uphill battle. And alone. Always alone. My dad must be screaming from the grave at what a worthless p.o.s. I've turned out to be. All their sacrifices, all that schooling, just can't fix a broken head. The last of my defenses are slowly failing now, and I have no cards left to play. And instead of being scared, I feel such relief. I'm so tired.