At that point..

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by little lucy, Mar 30, 2015.

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  1. little lucy

    little lucy Active Member

    Well, I'm at the point of wanting to end it all, again. Everything is so hopeless. No matter how hard I try I cannot find any solutions. :Cry:

    I'm not going to kill myself right this second. Or even tonight. I'm not ready. I don't have what I need. Plus there is this tiny stupid urge to try some more and figure things out. But really it all seems impossible.

    I could go on and on but I won't. I've been wanting to die for a long time.

    I feel like all I do is drag it out. -_-
     
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Hi little lucy. I haven't read your previous posts, and I haven't been on this forum for a long time, almost a year. I just made an update to a help resource thread that might be useful to you. The link is in my signature. This is all I can think of to do right now to help. Wish I could do more. I am tired now.
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Lucy :)

    Are you seeking professional help? If you are, how is that going for you? If not, might be wise to consider the idea. You do sound somewhat optimistic though like wanting to try some more things to help you feel better, that is not a stupid idea hun.

    Keep talking to us :)

    ~petal
     
  4. ChestnutMay

    ChestnutMay Antiquities Friend

    I'm sorry to hear you are in so much pain and feeling so hopeless. Everyone here has felt that way at some point or another and a lot of us sill do so you are among understanding friends. I know what it is like to feel there are no solutions to problems - I think I have spent a lot of my life feeling "stuck" in one way or another. Sometimes I've found solutions in the most unexpected places and kindness from the most unexpected people. Life has a way of surprising me like that.

    Would it help you to write about some of what's going on with you? Are you getting any treatment?

    Keep writing!
     
  5. little lucy

    little lucy Active Member

    Yeah I've been in therapy it doesn't help. I've been doing it for a long time. It's never going to get better. I'm more sure of that today. I really do hate living. I just need to perfect a plan so I don't screw it up. I just want to be able to actually die and not fail at it. I also want to be hidden when I die. Just away from everything.
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Lucy, I really feel for you. I think the strength and courage you have shown in your other threads is amazing so keep fighting this. You are important and you matter. Have you told your therapist that it is not working? Have you tried other forms of therapy? there are plenty out there.

    ~petal
     
  7. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I don't believe in telling someone that they should not commit suicide. Rather, there's a very good chance that there is a way to get better and to be glad that you are alive. You may have a lot more to live for than you now realize.
     
  8. little lucy

    little lucy Active Member

    Yeah, I also may not.
     
  9. little lucy

    little lucy Active Member

    There's not really another form that I can try. My therapist is free.
     
  10. ChestnutMay

    ChestnutMay Antiquities Friend

    Oh, man, that is rough - not having the option of switching therapists. At this point, I would probably switch to self help books - just a quick search on amazon shows there are a ton of self-help workbooks out there for depression. Of course you can go broke on self-help books, many of which are worthless, so I'd pay close attention to the reviews on amazon and google the authors. No need to pay for a con man. My experience with them is the ones that include mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy are the best. Wish I could remember names - it's been awhile and I lost the books in a move.

    Are you on any meds and is there any chance of getting those switched?


    Please don't give up hope. And please keep posting here. People understand.
     
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