At the beach

Should be happy. Instead extremely anxious. Snapping at everyone. Doubled my Ativan dosage. Will see if that helps. Checked to see when my father in law death was. Not my get better by date.

 

Nothing personal, but posting here is not how I want to spend my off time. Wish I felt better. Have no one else to talk to.

 

Why do you say that you should be happy?

Maybe try meditation for the anxiety?

acupressure self-massage?

 

Hi Chalmers

All of us would love to live happily ever after without psychological problems hitting us, but unfortunately this is only an ideal. If we continue to hold an ideal such as "I really should be happy right now." then over time we start comparing it more and more to our actual situation, which is not so happy. This gap between an ideal and the reality only serves to cause further anxiety and depression because we feel like we are failing ourselves.

I'm not saying that being happy is something bad to think about, but maybe instead of an ideal you could set smaller baby step goals. Something like having a goal of feeling a tiny bit better then the last day, or feeling calm/neutral as a goal for the day. Eventually if this works and becomes consistent your anxiety might wear off and happiness will come by itself. :smile:

I'd also be weary of upping the dosage of your meds without doctor consent. Doubling seems like a large change which might backfire with side effects (but then again I'm not very familiar with Ativan).

Take care and best of luck,
~Monsieur

 

Happy is a relative term. I meant I'd like to not be anxious so much of the time. I wasn't feeling anxious like now ( where it's all I think about) until the last several months. I wasn't on sleeping pills until the past fall. I want the me that was better able to deal with things. I want the me that could go on vacation and not obsess about work. This me is a bit better about procrastination but isn't giving my son the time he deserves.

 

it sounds like maybe there is a connection between the sleeping pills and the anxiety?

there is a link in my sig. for a book on depression; at the same site there is also a book for insomnia. you may want to check it out.

I hope that things can get better!

 

Nothing wrong with rational happiness. The depression andvmy related. We'll see.