At the breaking point.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lissa08, May 25, 2011.

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  1. lissa08

    lissa08 Member

    I really don't know if I can do this anymore. This constant feeling of self loathing. Not understanding why people care about me, and yet desperately needing them too, even though I know I don't deserve them. I want to scream, to tell someone. I know I can't do that. I don't really want anyone to know how close I am to the end. I have already hurt them so much, I can't stand the thought of being the cause of more pain. I can't get anything right.
    These people, they think they know me, think they like me, some even think they love me. But I don't even really know who I am anymore, so how in the hell do they love me? Why do they even bother, when all I do is hurt them. Never intentionally, I just feel like I destroy people. I don't know what to do anymore, what to say, or how to keep on living. I don't want to anymore. I'm just so tired of this mental battle raging in my head. The constant thoughts of how much I hate myself. I just want it to all be over and done with. It's been 10 years, and nothing ever seems to get better, just band aides over a bullet wound. I'm sick of hearing "Just give it time to get better". 10 years is damned long enough.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i hear your pain i do and your sadness hold onto those friends those ones that do love you okay let them be your strength when you not any. hugs
  3. lissa08

    lissa08 Member

    I don't want to drag them down with me any longer. I've been their deadweight for far to long. :/
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    what makes you think that you are dragging people down and hurting them?

    I feel like I have a certain amount of love for someone automatically if I think that they are good or innocent. and I especially have love for people who I think are good or innocent who have suffered unfairly.

    so I think it is possible to love someone even if they don't love themselves or understand themselves

    do you want to talk about why you hate yourself and feel suicidal?
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