at the end of my rope

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by nwe1122, Oct 5, 2014.

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  1. nwe1122

    nwe1122 New Member

    I really didn't know where else to go with this. I have so much on my mind.

    I guess I'm depressed. I never wanted to admit it but I know it to be true. I wake up and have suicidal thoughts almost every day. It usually dissipates after an hour or so, but some days not. I'm just wishing I could fall asleep and not wake up.

    I have a dilemma. I need a significant other in my life to be happy. I know ones happiness shouldn't depend on another person, but mine does. I had a girlfriend for a long time and that's when I felt ok. We were together for 6 years and lived together. Now it's been just me for almost 4 years and I haven't met anyone new. I haven't had any physical human contact in so long. I don't even mean sex. I just want a hug. I forget what it's even like to feel that happiness. But I don't wanna put that pressure on another person even if I did meet someone. It's not fair for them. It seems like I'll only meet someone if I am already happy, but my happiness depends on meeting someone. I just can't be happy alone.

    I honestly feel like suicide would be a good option, but I don't even feel motivated enough to go through with it. I doubt I ever would, but I definitely think about it consistently.

    Thanks for reading this. If anyone has suggestions on how to feel ok I could really use them.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hear you i do everyone needs human contact I do hope you can push yourself to get out and try to meet someone new.
    Take a class you are interested in at a local college meet someone there with your same interest If you have not seen your doctor about your depression do so ok don't waste anymore time being alone is awful. Get the help you need to get yourself out of the darkness your in ok hugs
  3. FMyLife

    FMyLife Chat Buddy

    Human contact is a huge part of being human, so I can definitely sympathize when you have nobody. I have been in that place and its very difficult. But don't resign yourself to suicide because you do not have someone. You will find someone, and when you do, life will be good. If anything, see if there are social gatherings in your area? I know that a lot of places have programs for singles just so people can get out and meet others, not for dating reason, but for social reasons. It might do you some good to get out and meet people.
  4. ImFine

    ImFine Member

    Dear one have you thought of volunteer work?
    You are so loving and obviously have a lot of love to give.
    I wish i could hug you now.
    Know that you are not alone. If you share your heart, you will shed your fear, then you will find your true love. Nuture, and be nutured, beautiful soul.
    Everything is going to be alright.
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