at the end of my rope

these days i feel f***ed up every day
ive been feeling suicidial for a few years now i was able to stop the thoughts by doing drugs but its like that these days even that doesnt help any more .
i dont really wanne kill myself (i think)
but i cant stop thinking about it and i feel im going insane like there are 2 people inside me
ive been feeling this way now for so long that im starting to think that killing myself is my only way to get rid of the pain.
but that cant be or is it
f**k ive been feel lost for so long i dont know what to do do anymore

ive never asked for help in my life accept for now.

cause im getting scared from myself

 

Hi, you've come to right place to get a good start. Posting here is a good option to get it out of your head immediately. I recommend calling crisis to get immediate help and referrals to good medical help. You don't have to suffer being alone in this.

:hug:

 

Hello, you've done very good, you don't need to suffer and I think you'll get some good advice here. Please listen to Chargette and call for help. Medication and therapy could help you a lot. Hope you're not afraid because there's no reason to be, this is happening to so many people. Hope you post here more and tell us what you've decided.

 

buy more rope, drugs are not the only solution, i kept myself busy by going to school, studying and playing games, and the suicidal thoughts faded in time. U can't be depress and suicidal when u don't even have the time to think about it.