At the end of my rope

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by PoisonS, Jan 12, 2010.

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  1. PoisonS

    PoisonS Well-Known Member

    I've been everywhere. I've been in hospitals, to counselors, doctors, phsyciatrists, I'm on medication, I've been committed, I've talked to family members and friends.

    It's been years. It still hurts. I feel so alone. I've been here so often, in this horrible place where everything hurts and the future looks so dark...

    I've heard it all. Why I shouldn't do it. I don't know what I want to hear anymore, I guess I just want someone to really, truly care, instead of them just feeling obligated.

    I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't see why I should bother trying to live anymore.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Poison and obviously are very brave and want to feel better...maybe sharing here can help you feel more supported...there are many of us who truly care...big hugs, and welcome again, J
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    HEy poison i know you feel you have tried everything but there are new medications coming out as you speak to help hard to control depression new medication to help schizophrenia etc. every day is new hope okay. Have you asked your doctor about the newer meds out there or other types of treatment.
    Just take one day at a time like most of us do and enjoy what we can out of it even if it is just seeing a child smile your pet playing small things noticed them okay. take care.
  4. Sparky55313

    Sparky55313 Well-Known Member

    I am in much the same situation. I have learned to not have hardly any emotions at this time but I do carry hope. I hope you will too.
  5. PoisonS

    PoisonS Well-Known Member

    I don't want to give up on life, but when I think about my future all I can see is more struggling, more pain. This isn't something that's just going to be gone one day.

    I'll end up hurting myself again, hurting the people I love again over and over and over until they've all finally had enough and they leave me.
    It's already started. My family is drifting apart.
    They don't trust me and I have no right to expect them to.

    When they're gone, I don't I think I'll be able to take care fo myself. I won't be able to find any reason anymore.
  6. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    Wanting someone to really, truly care about you is a very normal human need, and it hurts like hell when you don't have it. I feel how much pain you are in, and for how long you have endured it, feeling like you can't take anymore and the future looks really bleak. I feel that way almost every day too. I still hope though that there is a small chance things will get better, hard to believe that most days, but there is that small feeling of hope in this thing called life. I hope you can find it too.
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