I'm a 27 year old medical student and I have been suffering from depression for several months now. Most of my depression comes from relationship problems that probably stem from growing up in a neglectful and broken family. I've never been able to get into a relationship with a guy who was loving and supportive; all of my relationships have been abusive and they have completely exhausted my body, heart and soul. I no longer even believe that real love exists, and that belief is so painful to me that it feels like life isn't even worth living anymore. I have been drained of all the optimistic and spirit I once used to have, and it is so unbearably painful to live this way that even getting out of bed every day is a battle.
I don't think anyone I know could even begin to guess that I'm contemplating suicide, much less that I have been for a long time now. Outwardly, I seem like a successful, happy person. I have a lot going for me, and logically, I understand that, but it doesn't help with the emptiness and the pain. If I knew of a way to commit suicide by which I could just painlessly fall asleep, I would have already done it. The only thing holding me back is the fear of the pain and the fear of hurting people who love me. :/
I don't think anyone I know could even begin to guess that I'm contemplating suicide, much less that I have been for a long time now. Outwardly, I seem like a successful, happy person. I have a lot going for me, and logically, I understand that, but it doesn't help with the emptiness and the pain. If I knew of a way to commit suicide by which I could just painlessly fall asleep, I would have already done it. The only thing holding me back is the fear of the pain and the fear of hurting people who love me. :/