i was considering last night, for all that i'm trying and all that i do, i still find myself alone. i've never got into full gear, lived a normal life of a teenager, i'm pretty much a hermit of a 21 y.o. but when i do try and socialise i wonder what will happen? im planning on adding people from a music site and going to gigs. maybe facebook a few people when i get brave. the problem is i feel disconnected from everyone and this life itself, i worry i'll never be able to make a really good friend, someone who i can connect with. someone who truely cares about me.. i cant imagine it. i've always wondered alone, metaphoricaly speaking, trying to make it look like im not. how does one survive years upon years of lonliness? i'm trying to be brave now because i know theres a person inside, and at 21 i better try, but im living inside a glass house. i just dont understand and there's only so long i can go on. i'm lost?