yeah, every day is just a futile attempt... I literally have no reason to go on anymore. My dreams are impossible thanks to horrible genes my idiotic parents passed on to me that cause body acne and general retardation in me to the point I can't do a single thing correctly, and I literally do not feel a single thing besides sadness and a desire to die. Even if I only lived to 18 it would've been too long. I work really hard at everything I do, and NOT ONCE has it ever paid off or even got me anywhere even somewhat substantial. If I take lessons or someone teaches me how, I get even worse at it in fact. Even eating food is a near impossible feat for me. I'm too poor to afford food anyways because my hours at work got cut really badly to the point I'm working 4 1/2 hours a week, and on top of really expensive car repairs I had to get I will be living on the streets soon. My only hope is to die before I see age 30. There's not a SINGLE thing in life worth living for and I mean it. It's not a BLESSING (here's a history lesson; it WAS a blessing back before scientific advances and more children died in the womb or after childbirth and more mothers died after childbirth, there were more diseases and no injections etc. it's certainly not a blessing now that the planet is an overpopulated cesspool. common sense) it's a celestial CHORE. oh and PS, I don't want to hear a SINGLE thing about going to see another damn psych or shrink or whatever these tools in the "mental health" industry use to differentiate different employees. I've been to them ever since age 8 and ALL of them have been ineffectual and useless at best. I'm sick of them acting like "depression" is my true problem. Wrong. "Depression" is just a symptom... the problem is unfulfillment. I can't do what I love in life and I feel trapped by my own body because of this and of course I feel downcast. However, you can't get the mental health hustlers-I mean doctors to see this... 'cause they are glorified pill pushers. Yeah, I said it. Dermatologists are the same... both sets are overpaid tools who can't admit they can't really fix the problems they supposedly are "experts" at treating. Go ahead and banhammer this if you feel... It'll just prove my point that I'm too real and honest. Not like a bad guy like me is gonna matter when (not if) I finally take my own life anyways.