At this rate, going outside my house will feel SCARY

[Arthur523]

I'm already isolating in my bedroom and in my house severely. Whenever I walk to go somewhere (ATM, grocery store) it feels less and less like a normal thing to do. It basically feels like I'm walking out of my protective bubble and out into the real world, and to be honest I think I'm becoming more and more afraid of society.

As a VERY rare outing, I hung out with my brother and his girlfriend over at the apartment that they share together. We hung out inside, and then we walked down to the pool area. Well, needless to say, the pool assistant took one quick look at me and I guess she noticed that I didn't have a guest pass with me, so she said in a very mean and load voice "You can't swim here! You don't have a pool pass.' I told her I was a guest with two of the apartment tenants, but I guess that didn't matter and she continued to point her finger towards the exit. So that right there was my experience with going out into society for the first time in at least a month.

What I've learned: Even when you are trying as much as you can to try to help yourself and improve your life, there will always be jerks.

 

[tweetypie]

Well done for going out !!! its really tempting to stay holed up in the house ...i know im doing it atm but it just makes things worse because you start to loose your grip on things. Yes there will always be jerks !!

 

[Arthur523]

haha, thanks shadowgirl!

The funny thing about the "jerk" that I encountered was that my depression and anxiety are at an EXTREMELY, almost non-existent level. I said hello to the jerk very nicely and I was even going to compliment him on his sweet tan, but he had already made up his mind that he didn't want to let me swim there. Quite possibly one of the more funny and ironic stories that have happened recently.

Oh, I can't wait when I'm able to go back and finish my degree in college, I'm not going to "get revenge" on anyone who has done any wrong-doings to me, but I cannot wait to pull up in my Landrover in their fast-food line and rub in their faces how rich and amazing I have become. Hah!

I'm the last person who would go around flaunting my successful lifestyle, but lets just say that if my McDonald's Value Meal came to $6.56, instead of giving him/her a ten or twenty dollar bill and say to keep the change, if I had to pay that same jerk (or a different one) then I would just politely ask for my change back.

 

[Sadeyes]

Yes Arthur, the jerks are around us...it will always be...do not let them influence what you should do for yourself...then they will win!

 

[total eclipse]

what a power hungry idiot i am glad you went outside just to get some air even hun feel the sun I hope you continue to go outside small steps at a time okay You did great.

 

[Petal]

I know that feeling all too well Arthur, I spent 4 years without leaving my house, trust me, this was not a fun experience, you don't want to go down that road. Get going outside, even if its just a trip to the shop. :arms: PM me anytime if you want to talk about it x