At times my life doesn't feel like worth living

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by 18 and in trouble, Apr 4, 2012.

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  1. 18 and in trouble

    18 and in trouble Well-Known Member

    So I'm a nineteen (I know I have to change my username) who has suffered from depression for a while and while I've have good things happen it sometimes feels like my life isn't worth living anymore. I have a messed up family, I feel like people ignore me, I always get lost in the crowd and can never seem to stand out, I have no job and no significant other, and the one thing I do have and really enjoy, my computer and specifically writing, has been screwed up like other things by my paranoia which is such a force it overwhelms me. Sometime it's all too much and I just don't want to go on anymore.
     
  2. Twinkle ☆ Twinkle

    Twinkle ☆ Twinkle Well-Known Member

    Hey,
    I'm sorry that you're going through a difficult time. And I can somewhat relate to your problems and how you're feeling. I also often feel ignored, and I feel invisible and lost in a crowd. I also don't have a significant other nor a job, so I can really relate. And I know how much all of this sucks.

    But you seem to have things that you still enjoy and I think that is a good thing, because it gives you something to do. If you really enjoy writing I think you should continue with that.

    Also about the paranoia, I found the internet to help somewhat with that since you can remain anonymous. I think it's a good place to learn to open up to others, however you don't want to get stuck with just being involved with internet stuff because that can be harmful too and it can become addictive.
     
  3. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    I notice you say that writing is something you enjoy. Have you tried to pursue college as an English major before?
     
  4. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    This is heartbreaking to hear Bobby. If it is any consolation to you, I feel the same shitty way. You sound like you are going through the same needless crap that I'm experiencing. I love to write as well and use the computer, but I've also felt that "those are nice hobbies, but will they help me find a girlfriend or make my loneliness go away? Fuck no!" I hate being ignored (the only people who deserve that shit are egotists like Rex Kamakana and football players at Iolani School) and hate feeling like I don't belong. But let me tell you Bobby, I am somebody who is willing to listen. I don't know if I'm the right answer for you, but if it makes you feel better, I hope I've made you feel less alone.
     
  5. 18 and in trouble

    18 and in trouble Well-Known Member

    Sorry for the late reply but thank you.
     
  6. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Hi there.
    I am 50 now, but I was your age once. I didn't feel like I fit in. I had dreams, but didn't seem to be seeing them as a real future. I was not in any in crowd and looking back now, my family was pretty bad... though I'm not sure how much I realized it back then.

    Today, other than for a huge personal tragedy that happened where I lost my son, my life is complete. It took some time to "find myself." You will need that time too. It feels like it's all wrong right now, and that it will not happen, but when you are 50... you might be the one here saying what I'm saying now. Things do change. I have been up and down, from living in the back of a van, to owning a home now; from being in debt, to being all paid up, then being back in debt again. Up and down... that is how life is. The up times are well worth waiting for. I hope you will listen to an old dude here who has no reason to lie. I have better things to do than post on here... but I post on here to try to help others see that there is hope, and there is a future. That being said, all I can speak is truth. Hang in.
     
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