Hi everyone, this is my first major thread so I'll try my best to describe what's going on... After obsessing with that age-old, twentysomethings battle with what to become in life, I've narrowed down that I'm a fan of life but don't trust anything around me to try anything in life. My simple goals in life were just to continue what my parents instilled in me from childhood, which is to basically become a family man and to settle down, enjoying all the things I do now, but in a more positive surrounding. Well, I've been on my own now for 8 years now, and I don't have the motivation to push myself towards any of it. I feel like an observer of life. After attending a psychiatrist for some time and being diagnosed with depression and possible Type 3 (?) bipolar DO, I just feel more like life is absolutely absurd. I feel like "Why try and fight for things that could fall apart at any moment?" I justify being anti-religious and don't believe in any religion, even though I was brought up Baptist. I snap at friends who I otherwise am cool with a lot of the time (usually produced by built-up hatreds of pet-peeves I have). I'm losing hope by the second that there is any real solution to my fears and inactivity.