My life has been one bad turn after another, I'm old enough now that I really don't believe it's ever going to get any better, though I've had more than enough experiences to know that when ever I think things can't possibly get worst, they do. So I've been contemplating, when do I just throw in the towel? It's been on my mind a lot lately. I made it through the holidays, even if just barely, spent more than a couple of days just laying there, didn't even feel like eating. I'm just tired of feeling like this. Not that it matters anyway, I've been cutting again, a habit I thought I left behind years ago, but it's not helping, still feel like crap even with the endorphins kicking in. Been looking at A.S.H. for a bit, not really sure why I'm here in this forum to be honest, reaching out to people is kind of how I ended up feeling like this, throwing trust into the wrong person and absolutely regretting it every minute since. I don't need any more reminders of just how messed up my life has been, I have plenty. Think I'm going to drink myself into a stupor and see where it leads me.