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Ideas & Opinions At what point in time did your beginning occur?

Tor

SF Supporter
#1
It seems like there is a range of age groups on this beautiful platform. I was curious about how many years some of you have been in a mental health battle of some sort. When did yours begin? Has this been a lifelong endeavor?

It’s been nearly 20 years for me, so I guess I’ve experienced these feelings for more than half my life.
 

Lux

Outrageously Awesome
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#2
I think around 15 for me in some shape of form. I've kept journals from about the age of 11/12 and they're pretty telling when you read back over them.
 

Tor

SF Supporter
#3
It’s great that you were able to write during tough times, and it’s cool to have those journals to be able to refer back to. I envy you for that. Would you say that journaling is therapeutic for you, especially when times are the toughest?
 

Lux

Outrageously Awesome
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#4
It’s great that you were able to write during tough times, and it’s cool to have those journals to be able to refer back to. I envy you for that. Would you say that journaling is therapeutic for you, especially when times are the toughest?
Yeah, they're good in a way - I have to read them in the right frame of mind otherwise it's a bit depressing. I also only used to journal when I was feeling my worst so they're just big books of sad hah. I still journal, I just add to the box of books, but now I try to incorporate good days as well and highlight them with bookmarks so I can look at a nice memory when I need to.

I find the physical act of writing quite therapeutic in itself and does help to calm me down if I'm in a bit of a state. It's also a pretty handy way to assess the feelings and situation after as long as you're 100% honest in there to help rationalise it in my head to know if it's worth being so upset about etc.
 

Tor

SF Supporter
#5
Yeah, they're good in a way - I have to read them in the right frame of mind otherwise it's a bit depressing. I also only used to journal when I was feeling my worst so they're just big books of sad hah. I still journal, I just add to the box of books, but now I try to incorporate good days as well and highlight them with bookmarks so I can look at a nice memory when I need to.

I find the physical act of writing quite therapeutic in itself and does help to calm me down if I'm in a bit of a state. It's also a pretty handy way to assess the feelings and situation after as long as you're 100% honest in there to help rationalise it in my head to know if it's worth being so upset about etc.
I can totally relate about writing when you’re down, more than when you have happy things to write about. And about how depressing it can be to go back and read your old entries. I have a few notebooks of my own, but on some level I think I’m afraid to read them because I don’t want to feel bad. I think it’s great that you are able to re-read your writings and also write good things.

It is so lovely to still put pen to paper. You don’t find many people these days that agree, but there is a deeply therapeutic element to it. It makes me happy to know that you have found a great way to sort out your feelings. :)
 

Lux

Outrageously Awesome
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#6
I can totally relate about writing when you’re down, more than when you have happy things to write about. And about how depressing it can be to go back and read your old entries. I have a few notebooks of my own, but on some level I think I’m afraid to read them because I don’t want to feel bad. I think it’s great that you are able to re-read your writings and also write good things.

It is so lovely to still put pen to paper. You don’t find many people these days that agree, but there is a deeply therapeutic element to it. It makes me happy to know that you have found a great way to sort out your feelings. :)
Thanks Tor *hug
Another option would be writing it all out on a page and then burning it/tearing it/throwing it in the ocean if nearby to get rid of feelings - I did this to a letter I wrote to someone who had hurt me once, was good as there was no way I'd send it to them :)
 

Tor

SF Supporter
#7
*agreed I have always heard about that but have never actually tried it for myself. I love this idea! I think I could truly benefit from that right now, considering the reoccurring rejection I am feeling in regards to a friend. Thanks for the cool ideas. *shake*brohug*woohoo
 

Sunspots

Pffffeckn amazin
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#8
I was around 9 or 10 when I first tried to kill myself, I didn't even know there was a word for it at that point. I'm 51 now. Although there were some good years in between, it's always been there to a greater or lesser extent.
 

Tor

SF Supporter
#9
I was around 9 or 10 when I first tried to kill myself, I didn't even know there was a word for it at that point. I'm 51 now. Although there were some good years in between, it's always been there to a greater or lesser extent.
Thank you sharing @Sunspots. I hold great admiration for you. That is a lifetime of experience, and you are beyond a strong individual. I’m sorry to hear that the feelings have always been there, despite the good times. May I ask what has helped you make it for so many years? If that’s not a warrior, I don’t know what is. I don’t mean to appear over endearing, but I admire how long you have held on.
 

Dark111

Scholar's Mate
SF Supporter
#10
It seems like there is a range of age groups on this beautiful platform. I was curious about how many years some of you have been in a mental health battle of some sort. When did yours begin? Has this been a lifelong endeavor?

It’s been nearly 20 years for me, so I guess I’ve experienced these feelings for more than half my life.
Most of my life. But the nature of my "condition" has only really started to negatively effect in me in later years,.

Sure I've tried to make amends where I can, and to this day I still do. Many people will hate me forever but I've made my peace with that. Sometimes I think about cutting all ties, uprooting and leaving everything behind, starting from scratch somewhere else where no one knows me. I've been thinking about this lately so we'll see.
 

Tor

SF Supporter
#13
Most of my life. But the nature of my "condition" has only really started to negatively effect in me in later years,.

Sure I've tried to make amends where I can, and to this day I still do. Many people will hate me forever but I've made my peace with that. Sometimes I think about cutting all ties, uprooting and leaving everything behind, starting from scratch somewhere else where no one knows me. I've been thinking about this lately so we'll see.
Those are some intense feelings right there, and I say that bc I can totally relate. It’s like, you feel like you have messed up so much that you should just disappear.

On a positive note, you are aware of what you feel bad for, and have made amends for those things. Thats a bigger deal than you may be giving yourself credit for. You deserve forgiveness. I know that can be easier said than done, but some people don’t even acknowledge what they have done to wrong others. Even then, it doesn’t stop the damage you have already experience from bettering future relationships.

I hope this doesn’t come off as rambling. I relate to you very much and don’t even know what to say to myself at times. But I do know that you deserve second chances and forgiveness
 

Tor

SF Supporter
#15
Since I was a kid, so it must be close to 30 years by now. I'm just used to it at this point.
Im sorry to hear that, but I admire your ability to maintain strength and perseverance to this day. We shouldn’t have to be used to feeling this way, but I guess in a way, it makes us stronger in the face of life’s adversities - particularly ones like we have experienced in 2020.
 

Witty⭐️Sarcasm ⭐️

§ Eclectic nutbag ©
SF Supporter
#16
Im sorry to hear that, but I admire your ability to maintain strength and perseverance to this day. We shouldn’t have to be used to feeling this way, but I guess in a way, it makes us stronger in the face of life’s adversities - particularly ones like we have experienced in 2020.
Yes, it's been a trying year for sure. I hope things get better for everyone from here on out.
 

Ash600

Of dust and shadows
SF Creative
SF Supporter
#18
Thats definitely rough. Is there anything that has made things easier to cope with? You are certainly strong for keeping on.
I don't know about being strong, more like being a stubborn belligerent bastard. In terms of there being anything which has made things easier to cope with, to answer truthfully, no. It's always just been riding things out wondering when the other side will appear.
 

Dark111

Scholar's Mate
SF Supporter
#19
You deserve forgiveness. I know that can be easier said than done, but some people don’t even acknowledge what they have done to wrong others. Even then, it doesn’t stop the damage you have already experience from bettering future relationships......But I do know that you deserve second chances and forgiveness
You're the only person who has ever said that to me. In those words. If you really knew me, you may think otherwise but I can't help but appreciate your generosity.
 

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#20
You're the only person who has ever said that to me. In those words. If you really knew me, you may think otherwise but I can't help but appreciate your generosity.
Genes and environment, fam. Adding extra harm to someone because of what they've done isn't helping.
 

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