ATM Instructions

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by deathiscoming, Jul 13, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. I did not write this, unfortunately-JMcA
    A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

    Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined
    below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender."


    1. Drive up to the cash machine.
    2. Put down your car window.
    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
    6. Put window up.
    7. Drive off.


    Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!

    1. Drive up to cash machine.
    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
    8. Insert card.
    9. Re-insert card the right way.
    10. Dig through handbag to find diary ; with your PIN written on the inside back page.
    11. Enter PIN.
    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
    13. Enter amount of cash required.
    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
    17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
    18. Re-check makeup.
    19. Drive forward 2 feet.
    20. Reverse back to cash machine.
    21. Retrieve card.
    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
    23. Give dirty look to irate male driver ; waiting behind you.
    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
    25. Redial person on cell phone.
    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
    27. Release Parking Brake.
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    :laugh: tho being FEMALE I should pay you a visit and :bottom:
  3. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    :laugh: :laugh:
  4. Vorath

    Vorath Guest comment.
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :goodone: :funny:
  6. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    Excuse me. Those machines are designed by men who drove women to become like the machines. No different from the cigarrettes companies who advertise: Caution: Surgeon general advice it is harmful to your health. And to let you know that real women don't drive cars........
  7. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    And real women don't need cash neither make up on.
  8. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    One physicist say ,the dog is a man's bestfriend is soon to be the man is a dog's bestfriend , as proper evolution evolves.:tongue:
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.