I choosed my nickname and tittle because of how I feel.. I've had a long history with depression and anxiety. For years I have been taking medication. I have gone to therapy, I have really tried everithing. The last year and a half has been the worst of my life. My marriage after 10 years ended. Not that I blame her, Its not easy to live with someone like me all the time. We have a 5 year old daughter. I transfered with my job to be closer to her since my ex moved back to where she is from. I am about 5 hours away from my family. My position at work demands a lot of myself (I do love my job)so I work a lot. The town I moved in, I dont know anyone and have no friends other than co-workers. I have never felt so alone in my life. Today was horrible. I lost the keys to my store, Had to pay 250 to get it re-keyed. I also lost my car and apartment keys, so had to redo those as well. The person I have been going out with, I had to talk to her last night. I have been honest with her from day one. I have not felt "the connection"n with anyone since my divorce, and this girl was really nice, I thought I could give it some time... But after 2 months, is not happening. So I had to break it up. I had lost like 60 pounds this year( I was fat), but I have gained 30 of those back. Dont know how to cook, Dont know how to do a lot. My bills are spiralling out of control. Pretty soon, I wont be able to afford the minimum payments for my credit cards. Divorce really did me in. My stepfather who has been like a father to me was diagnosed with Bone marrow cancer. The prognosis does not look good. My parents already had to help me this year so I could manage child support. Not easy paying 800 a month, althought I dont care since it is for my daughter, I am really not able to fit the bills anymore. DOnt even have money to go to the dentist.!! Music has always been the biggest passion of my life, but lately, I cannot even play. I am sorry for going on and on, but I have no one left to tell. This is how I feel: Atmosphere Walk -- in silence Don't walk away -- in silence See the danger -- always danger Endless talking -- life rebuilding Don't walk away Walk -- in silence Don't turn away -- in silence Your confusion -- my illusion Worn like a mask of self-hate Confronts and then dies Don't walk away People like you -- find it easy Aching to see -- walking on air Hunting by rivers, through the streets, every corner abandoned to soon Set down with due care don't walk away -- in silence -- Don't walk away Thanks. J.