Hello, I tried to commit suicide about 8 years ago (last year of high school) by <Mod Edit - Acy - Methods>. Somehow, nothing happened other than a little nausea. So much so that no one even found out that there might be something wrong with me. I felt even more trapped in my head, and even more depressed. I decided to be glad for my survival and take matters into my own hands. I told my family about the attempt and announced that I needed to change my life and that their restrictions have to go. The family took away the restrictions fearing another attempt, but blamed me completely. According to them, the attempt only hurt THEM and how dare I do such a thing. Years passed, but every now and then there would be subtle taunts: "Ooo, don't say that to her, we don't know what she might do...." They've continued to this day. All throughout, I have not had one friend who has understood nor gotten me help to understand what I am going through or why I would take such a step. After years of denying them, I have realised my problems are still the same. I still think of suicide as the first and easiest solution to all my issues. I dream of various ways I can just end it. I am not scared of death. I was actually lucid and uncaring when I almost drowned a few years ago. Despite not having achieved my life goals yet, I will have no regrets if a car hit me tomorrow. I actually wish it would. Or a fatal disease take me. And lately it has gotten worse. I feel trapped in my body, and in my life, with no one to understand or care.