I took a large concoction of things. I thought what I had would be enough for me not to wake up. All I did was sleep for 15 hours solid and was drowsy the most of yesterday and I have managed to sleep it off. I want to be strong for my Benny, I want to help him, I want to marry hun. But I am so weak and so powerless. I have some things in the cupboard I could try next. I was always afraid to use them, but now I am not afraid anymore. I have taken overdoses in the past and I was always very nervous and scared when taking them, but I was surprised about how cool and calm I was. Maybe it's my time to go.