Attempted suicide

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by sara856, Jun 5, 2011.

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  1. sara856

    sara856 Account Closed

    Just got out the hospital after a suicide attempt. I took an overdose of xxxx because I was so upset. I have bipolar but had been doing really well for a few years. Then, about a year ago, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I have been in terrible pain for the past six months. I have had days when I couldn't walk or move and spent the whole day in bed. The dr offered steroids to help me feel better, but I kept refusing them becasue I knew they made me depressed and gave me mood swings. Finally, after spending two weeks in bed and unable to stand the pain, I agreed to take them. I got VERY depressed. My parents were giving me a hard time one night because they have to do everything for me these days (example- clean my apt, do the dishes, take out my garbage) because I have been unable to do it. Well, they got me so upset that I decided I was a burden on them and they would be better off w.o me. So I took the pills.

    After a while I called Poison Control and asked them if what I took would be fatal. I told them a friend had taken them. The person on the other end said they could be fatal and advised me to get my "friend" to the hospital. I hung up- with no intention of calling an ambulance just wanting to die. But then Poisin control called back and asked if I had taken them myself. I admitted it, but when they asked for an address I just hung up. But then the police called and said they were coming over, so they must have been able to look up my address. then on to the hospital.

    I still get very depressed, especially when the pain is bad. I am still on the steroids, but I am trying to ge toff them. Today I stopped them and we'll see if the pain is still as bad- if it is, I need to go back on them. it seems I have a choice between being in physical agony or being depressed. It really sucks.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 5, 2011
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i have arthritis too hun and i know somedays the pain can just take life away from us. I try to make it my goal to do at least one task a day that way i feel i accomplished something Are you on antidepressants with the steroid this can help you stay some what stable I am glad you called poison control hun glad your still here hugs
  3. Ritsu

    Ritsu Well-Known Member

    I have exactly the same type of arthrits I know how bad the pain can be I find that things that help are the magnetic bands for your wrists and ankles I also try to do as much yoga as possible when I am not in pain it does not take the pain away it just makes it a little easier to manage I hope this is of some help I really do.
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I've started to have arthritis and man does it hurt like hell...sometimes I don't take meds thinking the pain will go away, but it doesn't it just gets worse to the point that's all I"m thinking now I take meds when it hurts...

    I'm sorry that your parents went hard on you...they should understand it isn't your fault, you didn't choose that...maybe talk to them, let them know how you feel?
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I have chronic neurpathic pain and I know hurt...keep what you can and find ways (both meds and alternatives) to control the pain...if the pain is not controlled, find an MD that can...pain managment is not an exact science so make sure you are an advocate for yourself...all the best, J
  6. sara856

    sara856 Account Closed

    Thank you guys so much for responding. I'm so sorry that you suffer too but I have to admit I didn't think anyone on the forum would understand what I was going through. Your support means a lot to me. I have't responded before now because I'm having trouble w my computer, internet keeps going in and out, the guy is coming to hopefully fix this tomorrow. I have't been able to do much emailing or posting on forums. But thank you. I will be back to talk more.
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