attemptive suicide - what happened on the 1st September 2010, 9:00

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by point-less, Oct 1, 2010.

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  1. point-less

    point-less Well-Known Member

    on the first September at 9:00 night time. I tired to kill myself. heres what happened in detail:
    for the past two years I had being suffering from manic depression and I had being ficking up everyday of my life. I was always getting told off by ...everybody. No one I could talk to. I got ...get bullied alot for my sexuality and ' style ' I get beat up on the odd occasion fags put out on me. kicked, spat on, held down while have my back stamped down. and I got shagged by my stepdad (raped) it was horrible I still cry everyday theres isn't one day that goes by I don't cry. and well i'd had enough so I was sitting up in my room alone listening to GodSpeedYou! Black Emporer ( 28 days later soundtrack) and I had it on repeat. I was sitting there crying my eyes out...then I walked into my mom and dads room and got loads of pills and took all of them. I remeber going very dizzy and saying sorry to a friend and that I loved her she caught on quickly and called the police, my friends my parents everyone she could she posted it on facebook too. then i remember my friends mom calling ( also a cose mate) and I can't remembr what she said but I fell down my stairs and was just there at the bottom. I can't remember anything els other than continuosly voming blood and food but no pills. then I woke up in hospital..I was out for 2 - 3 days I was on a life support machine i had about 12 other machines around me monotouring different things. I had over 11 tubes in me. the worst was the one down my throat. I couldn't take it out cuz it was taped to my mouth and face but I couldn't make any sound couldn't cough cry or even hum or anything. it was so horrible! then up in the ward I was staying in all the people that came to see me and cryed...It was so shocking!
    at the end of the day, yes I am still suicidal and depressed but at the end of the day death is just as pointless as life. and there are people that care for you.
    your all beautiful! <3 xxxx
    ( feel free to take the piss out of the last few lines but I really couldn't care less so go for it)
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Thanks for sharing your experience and I am glad you are here...welcome and please continue to let us know how you are doing...big hugs, J
     
  3. point-less

    point-less Well-Known Member

    Thank you J *hug* x
     
  4. confusedgirl

    confusedgirl Well-Known Member

    My goodness you've been through allot, I'm sorry you od but thsnks for sharing your story, youll find lots of supportive and caring people here that'll help you when you need it, so welcome! Xx
     
  5. point-less

    point-less Well-Known Member

    Again thank you, I appreciate it, I thought it would be a good and important thing to share especial the ;ast few sentances I know how depressed some people can get and all they need is someone to notice them, to tell them they have a different beauty to everyone els in the world but noone does they just ignore them and then two weeks later you hear theyhave killed themselfs... all because noone bothered to take a second look at them.I've kind of rambelled on here haven't I? x
     
  6. confusedgirl

    confusedgirl Well-Known Member

    Not at all!! You way with words is beautiful! I know what you mean about People needing someone to notice them , I often feel like this so thanks!! Hope you start to feel atleast a little better soon! Hugs x
     
  7. point-less

    point-less Well-Known Member

    Thank you.
    And i'm sure you're beautiful in more than one way x
    thanks again hun
    hug x
     
  8. dreams4life

    dreams4life Well-Known Member

    Hi. I am glad that you are fine and safe. Thanks for sharing.
     
  9. point-less

    point-less Well-Known Member

    thanks and your welcome x
     
  10. JustLive

    JustLive Member

    I'm glad your still here. Death Doesn't change, but life always does.

    I wish you well my friend. You've been through a lot. Your a very strong person. Don't forget that.

    Life isnt always easy and not always fair. But your life is good and worth living!

    I'm here if u need a friend.

    Bell well, stay strong!

    Sam
     
  11. point-less

    point-less Well-Known Member

    you seem like a loely person Sam :) thanks for your support x
     
  12. JustLive

    JustLive Member

     
  13. point-less

    point-less Well-Known Member

    thank you :) you too x
     
  14. point-less

    point-less Well-Known Member

    Thank you x
     
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