*** Attention -- Everyone needs to read this ***

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ValentineBabe, May 24, 2014.

  1. ValentineBabe

    ValentineBabe Active Member

    I feel it needs to be said that if you are going to reply to someone's posts/thread,please always be supportive, encouraging and understanding. I believe the purpose of sf is to offer a comfort zone, a sense of security when sharing. We need each other, some or many come to depend on this site as their only means of support so I feel it's everyone's responsibility to do our best at offering positive feedback.

    It pains me to read some of the replies........please just be careful with your messages.

    Thanks, I just thought you should know...
     
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    well said. A lot of the time we just want a ear, we don't want someone telling us what to do and how to change. I think we already know how to do that...we just need to be heard and supported....supporting can be about listening and genuine caring...
     
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Thanks for the reminder that this is a support forum. It would be good for people to sometimes remember that being critical of a person and doing nothing but offering criticism really serves no purpose in a support forum.

    How support is offered however is really largely a matter of opinion and viewpoint and will vary greatly from person to person. If a post is non supportive and/r overly critical then please take the time to to report the post by clicking the small black triangle with the exclamation mark in it in the bottom left corner of the post. It will bring it to the attention of staff and you can share your thoughts on why the post should be deleted or edited with the staff who can take those actions. This is far preferable and more effective than engaging and criticizing that post in the thread and further throwing the discussion away from the original posters need for support.

    Like anything else, people will disagree on what is supportive or helpful or critical. The idea of an open support forum is to get different viewpoints and the original poster can pick or choose from whatever is offered as helpful or completely disregard. There are probably more requests for advice than just support overall as many people here - particularly new members- are looking for answers and not platitudes to questions they have no place else to turn to for advice as they cannot even discuss them in real life due to embarrassment , fear, or their situation. If as a poster you wish to simply receive support and hugs (which are very helpful all by itself and is often what is really needed) then stating that in your post is a good idea. That will not preclude people from offering a word of advice but will give a hint as to what you actually want. Lacking that , after you spending time detailing a situation and a problem, and another member taking time to read and understand it, it is reasonable for some members to think you are looking for advice on what to do to change the situation or what actions you could take to improve the situation. If you disagree then simply ignore the advice , but it is reasonable to think that a person should be grateful that the time was spent to offer it even if they do not believe it the right advice for them.
     
  4. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    All very well said :)
     
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I totally agree with this. I hope that people can be more compassionate. Also lack of response and being ignored can be just as hurtful.
     
  6. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Just gimme an admin hammer and I'll smite the meanies :annoying_computer:
     
  7. ValentineBabe

    ValentineBabe Active Member

     
  8. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm in agreement with all the views. Any non-supporting posts should be deleted as people turn to this forum for help and support. People who use this forum may require support in their time of crisis. It's a simple matter of respecting others and others will respect you back. Thank for reading this post and as ever take care.
     
  9. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, ValentineBabe. :hug: I agree that this site is for support, and it would be great if all members remembered that when they posted in threads.

    I might be wrong, but I think there's been a misunderstanding here about what NYJmpMaster wrote.

    I truly think NYJmpMaster was only reinforcing and then adding to your comments ValentineBabe, not criticizing them. The way I read what he wrote is that he agrees that it is harsh and kind of pointless when people come here and just criticize others without offering help or support. I think that is what you were saying, too, if I understood. And then he added the idea that if anyone (he said "you" meaning "anyone") has a problem with what someone posts, there are ways to deal with that: Members could do an LTM (Letter to the Management) or simply accept that they don't agree with the post and decide not to follow or respond to the comments. I don't think NYJmp meant it to be about YOU, "personally." :hug:

    I think the mods and admins agree that all staff and members here could always take the time to be kind - being hurtful doesn't help anyone. (And I'm not saying you wer/are being hurtful, ValentineBabe), I mean that when anyone at all is hurtful, it doesn't help.

    However, misunderstandings do happen a lot in written communication because we can't hear tone of voice or see facial expressions. That makes it an especially good idea to be kind when we write posts here. Your original post is so true!
     
  10. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Sometimes comments are too over analyzed for goodness sake and people tend to pull a rabbit out of the hat between the lines. Its a two way street cant always please everyone.
     
  11. 1112222

    1112222 Well-Known Member

    Yes I agree its pointless to rag on someone for the sake of it but as far as I'm concerned being support site shouldn't mean its just a mindless echo chamber as part of being supportive is being honest with each other and sometimes telling a person something that they might not necessary what to hear is needed (Within reason of course)