Attention seeking behavior...

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by lightbeam, Apr 20, 2010.

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  1. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I find that there are some on the board that post about their leaving, or something to that effect, are just doing it for attention. Bad attention.

    Instead of working on their own problems, they drag everyone else into it, and try to get everyone upset by insisting that they are going to leave the forum, and then they don't, because they realize that their attention would be gone, negatively or otherwise. And thus the cycle repeats itself.

    I find this extremely disturbing, because if the fact that it's consistently done over and over again, without regard to those that truly need help.

    I worry that people will not recognize things for what they are. People that attention seek, and whatnot, have no regard for how others may be fairing, because their problems are not genuine.

    Attention seekers do not really need the attention. They just think they do. And this can be rather destructive to those that need the actual help.
  2. lonercarrot

    lonercarrot Well-Known Member

    I agree that a lot of people seek attention and are not genuine. But I also think that for some people that method is the only way they can reach out to others... Not everyone is comfortable talking about themselves or asking for help directly... So they find different methods; suicide threats, cutting, not eating, threatening to leave the site, etc. They let their actions do the talking for them. If someone is lonely and is not receiving the feedback they expected from SF, I can see why they would threaten to leave or something.
    It doesn't mean they're not serious, they just can't express their feelings in a better way. I think that's kind of sad actually
  3. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    I agree it appears to be, a repetitive cycle, and it can at times seem that so many people are doing it.

    But to me, it's a person whose hit a bad moment and then finds(or creates) issues that make them feel that they need to leave this forum. It could be because theyll get some immediate attention and careing responces, or it could be they literally believe that their presence in the forum is making them worse, or that the forum itself is better off without them, or that they need to isolate themselves even more to protect themselves or others, or any number of reasons. They might even be serious(which I always believe, becuase sometimes things hit you all at once and you just dont know what to say and it comes out totally wrong).

    I don't have a problem with it at all. My lifes not altered if someone else makes those threads.(though i can see if you know the person it is a bit more heart straining)
    I see everyone who comes back is givin an opportunity to identify this particular issue in themselves, where they can be pushed to feeling the need to create a thread for attention, or leave because they feel they need to. If someones continusouly creating threads, then they have a problem with copeing. And each time they can learn not to get sucked into that moment of dispare or whatever the feelings that caused them to create the thread are.

    I would also say, try not to get sucked into the "annoyance" of seeing the threads. That to me is another spiral distraction.
  4. coffee

    coffee Well-Known Member


    If you want to read happily ever after personal stories, I am sure there are plenty out there on the internet.

    If you are not happy about what ppl write in here then do not read them and complain about any of them.

    what do you expect?

    Oh, I am fucking suicidal but I'll be OK soon becuase I'll be seeing my doctor
    and my med works great. I don't have any family or friends near by but I will make lots of friends soon.

    <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Rude>
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 21, 2010
  5. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    I can understand where you are coming from coffee, but instead of badgering eachother, we should try to help others understand things better, and inturn we ourselves gain a better understanding of others.
    I mean lightbeam sees people posting about leaving as annoying, you see lightbeams post as being insensitive.

    We dont need to be turning on eachother :hug:
  6. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    you know we all seek attention, and that is okay to seek attention because we all need it...people who make up stories feel they have to lie in order to get attention, affection and caring...we gotta make sure that as an individual to let them understand they dont need to lie to get the attention...maybe after a while they are here, they might realize it and start telling the truth...

    people who lie about it, also have's up to you to decide which you want to help...if you dont believe what a person is saying, then just move on...
  7. coffee

    coffee Well-Known Member

    How do you guys know for sure if anyone is making up stories and lie.
    How do you really know???????

    You guys are insulting anyone who is going through all these pains that
    they can't even deal with. If those ppl who are so hurt and ready to die,
    do you think they come here to trigger other ppl?

    How do you know?

    You can say easily to ppl who are just feeling miserable and hopeless...
    Just move on, be hopeful, you can do it~!!!

    Yeah, you can say all those things to cheer them up.

    You can't come to this type of site and write thread like "Attention seeking behavior". If you know for sure those who comes here, faking and seeking attention and try to trigger other ppl on purpose, then find them and pm them directly. This kind of thread doesn't help ppl who is actually looking for help and it's very unhelpful and insulting and hurts more especially they are trying to let things out and get some help.
    Where else do you expect to vent and cry out loud HELP???????
    Not everyone is able to get help from professionals, warm family around nor friends to share pains.
    Isn't this site all about that? for those ppl who can't get help in real life and no one's around them?

    That's my point.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 20, 2010
  8. yorkie bar

    yorkie bar Well-Known Member

    I'm sure there are people who come on here, and ' make things up ' .Thats why i left the site. It took its emotional toll on me.

    When i said i was leaving, i genuinely believed no one would miss me. Its true, apart from one or two people, i have'nt been missed.

    There are some people who genuinely don't have a support network of people they can go to for help. I'm sure most of you 'younger' people, have parents and family, who care very much about you. Both my parents have passed away.

    I've missed all those names i've come to recognise, and the eloquent way they express their feelings. But i feel there are people playing games on here. Its my sensitivities, they are playing games with.

    So why am i back? Because my story is real. Yes, i really did get to that place for the first time in my life, where i tried to end it all, because, to me, it was the only way forward. Though i don't want to kill myself now, i had yet another birthday yesterday, where no one knew, or even cared it was my birthday. I suppose i can express my feelings, if nothing else on here.

    And i've had my biopsy, and i'm so stressed, waiting for the result, because i can't come to terms with the fact i might have to make the decision whether to have months of op's and treatment. What for? I still can't completely say, i want to live.
  9. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    I just hate the "commiting suicide today... bye guys, it's over, I can't be helped" posts. I don't mind, however, if they explain their actual situation. As for attention seeking, you're gonna get that in a place like this, I personally don't mind it.
  10. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Lightbeam thank you for the post I feel the same way and I am fed up with it. It takes away from those in real need!
  11. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Everything you've said is reasonable. I agree with everything you've said. How the fuck are you gonna make a thread like this in a place that welcomes people looking for a particular type of attention for such a broad spectrum of reasons?

    lightbeam, This thread is counterproductive attention-seeking behavior. Now how you like them apples? How does that make you feel? It makes you feel like you can't post here, lest you be judged as "faking it" or some similarly vague bullshit, right? Now think about how the person on the other side could feel being told their cries for help are nothing more than illegitimate, falsifying, "attention-seeking behavior"? Think.

    How do you go about judging another person's individual needs exactly, hmm?
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 21, 2010
  12. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    Lightbeam, would you prefer it if people, suicidal people, just stopped posting? Having people wonder if they were okay, or even still alive? On a site like this, judging people can be dangerous. Especially if you make a thread like this, out and out telling them that what they are trying to do (say that they are leaving) is just attention-seeking behaviour.

    Do you want them to feel bad, or are you just venting? I agree that they can be annoying, but I never assume that they aren't genuine. Doing that just seems stupid to me, as if I knew them and what they are doing. I don't. If someone says they are leaving, I won't say "oh they are just trying to get attention", I will instead think that they need some help and to feel welcomed on this site, where it can be hard to make themselves heard and helped when hundreds of people are saying a lot of the things that they are.

    If you don't like those threads, don't read them. No one is forcing you to. You won't make people feel bad that way.
  13. Xaos

    Xaos Well-Known Member

  14. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

  15. coffee

    coffee Well-Known Member

    I don't understand this thread at all.
    What do you guys expect from who are suicidal?
    Yes, may be they are looking for attention so what?
    If they vent on the suicidal forum saying that they are going to do it this time
    or they really want to do it and how...

    so if they actually kill themselves, then that's not attention seeking?
    Then you are going to see that as real and genuine?

    OR you want those who are really suicidal, all they could think of is ending their life because pains are too much, they are just supposed to suck it up
    pretend like everything is OK and they can't even vent at all?

    Do you really think ppl who write things on suicidal thread, they are doing it just to hurt others and you call it attention seeking behavior?

    When ppl are so suicidal, yes, if they really want to do it, they'll do it
    instead of coming here and write.

    For a lot of them this might be the only source and only hope.

    I just don't understand that how ppl can complain about ppl who are so lost
    really want to end everything and you call that attention seeking behavior.

    Are you going to jump into their lives and tell them what to do with their lives?

    You are seeking attention by creating this thread and make ppl feel worse and take away from venting in here which it can be the last thing they could do.

    Why are you here to complain about who are suicidal on suicide forum?
    Have you tried to help them? and you are just sick of it because they don't improve or they are always suicidal?

    Then read stuff that are positive. Such as " Yes, I am not suicidal anymore"
    then how do You know if they are faking again???

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