Attention?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by bythelowtide, Sep 18, 2016.

  1. bythelowtide

    bythelowtide Active Member

    Anyone else told that they just do things "for attention" or just starting drama?
     
  2. Special-Agent-Gibbs

    Special-Agent-Gibbs Safety and Support SF Pro SF Supporter

    I have been told that but I choose not to let it bother me because I know that I am not doing it "for attention"

    Some people are just mean.
     
  3. Striking

    Striking Well-Known Member

    Typically said by someone who is scared, frustrated, confused about behaviors they are not capable of dealing with. It's their flaw, not yours.
     
    Greying and Petal like this.
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Yeah, so I mostly keep stuff to myself now. But people like that are not supportive, and you are better off without that in your life.
     
    Thauoy and Petal like this.
  5. Striking

    Striking Well-Known Member

    If it matters then best to find a neutral place to talk where they are calm and likely willing to listen.
     
  6. bythelowtide

    bythelowtide Active Member

    It is just hurtful and messes with my brain. It turns into this vicious cycle in my head because I don't want to ever do things for attention and so when I start getting down or want to SH I just then think "oh you are just doing this for attention" and then I get more down about it and want to SH more and the cycle just repeats...i hate it.
     
  7. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    I think the best thing you can do is listen to your instincts. No one knows you better than you. If you know in your heart, you are doing something for the right reason. Forget the other people. If these negative people are your friends, maybe it is time to make new friends? The only person you should worry about making happy is yourself. Be kind to yourself, you're not perfect and that is perfectly ok.

    I do have a bit of bad news though, I like you. I have read other posts you posted. You seem like you are a very kind person, a very caring person, you are very empathetic person. Personally, I am glad you joined us at SF. I hope you stay awhile. Wish we had more people like you. =)

    I am here for you, feel free to PM/IM me anytime. You are not alone anymore girly, you have me =)

    Take Care My Friend
     
    Thauoy likes this.
  8. IdontMatter111

    IdontMatter111 Well-Known Member

    very true.....
     
  9. IdontMatter111

    IdontMatter111 Well-Known Member

    I am so with you in this....you are not alone! <hugs>
     
  10. Briezy

    Briezy Well-Known Member

    I was once told by the person that I called my best friend that I had made up all my mental illness struggles just for attention. That person is no longer in my life but the effects off what she said still haunt me.
     
    Thauoy likes this.
  11. Stefan Unstable

    Stefan Unstable New Member

    I think everyone who tries to kill himself and fails is told that he did it just for attention... at least this is my case.
     
  12. Feinmharu

    Feinmharu Tortured Mind

    I have been told that multiple times. I think my school counselor when I was younger even kinda hinted that he thought I did it for attention... My "friends" at the time, as well as my mom thought the same thing. It put me in an even worse state than I was then. I started covering cuts.. Hiding them.. An shutting them all out..
     
  13. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    I've been told in the past that I start arguments because I want my bf's attention, good or bad, as long as he's focused on me. It's such b.s. and it does hurt. It shies me away from ever opening up to him and makes me nervous about telling him about anything he does to hurt my feelings. I agree that it's his flaw, but that doesn't make me less insecure about it. But then, I'm accused of being insecure and overly sensitive too...what can you do. I've learned to just keep my mouth shut because you can't defend yourself to someone who thinks they are always right no matter what.
     
  14. bythelowtide

    bythelowtide Active Member

    I appreciate you all responding...I really felt alone with it all and just second guessed myself all the time since people seemed to keep saying it... it just makes things so much worse. I'm sorry you all have had to go through it too...
     
    Frances M likes this.
  15. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    Hush, that talk. I consider you a friend, and this is what friends do for each other. If you can't lean on your friends, who else can you lean on? I have read a many of your post, when you were helping out other members. I think you are a very kind and caring person, with a big heart.

    We all need help from time to time. I would much rather, for you to raise your hand up , and say you need help. Than to suffer in silence.

    You are not alone anymore, you have me =)

    Take Care of Yourself, You are Important Too.
     
    Thauoy likes this.
  16. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    i'm not told this anymore, but I remember how frustrating it was when I was told it. It is one of the worst things you can tell someone who is going through hard times.

    I hope you can talk about it here and get things out,
     
  17. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    That kind of comment - "just for attention" - seems to trivialize or minimize the pain someone is in.

    "Just for attention" doesn't help - it doesn't acknowledge the pain the person is in, or ask for more information about the reason for the pain, or even offer support. Some people do make suicidal "gestures" - saying they will kill themselves, getting things set up but in way that someone will most likely help them NOT to suicide. That is "for attention" but not "JUST for attention." The attention that is being sought is about "I AM IN PAIN. SOMEONE HELP ME STOP THIS PAIN. WHAT DO I HAVE TO SAY OR DO TO GET YOU TO HEAR ME?"

    Many times, sadly, very sadly, it seems that someone who is in pain, goes from crisis to crisis without finding solid ground, which can make the people around them think they are not doing much to fix things. Sometimes there are skills people need to practice and practice in order to be able to ride the up and downs and crises in life. I think it is quite possible that so-called attention-seekers haven't yet mastered those skills or found ways to take care of themselves..

    Tbh, when I saw a friend repeatedly trying to suicide and then end up in hospital because people called the authorities, I wondered about my own depression and behaviors. I decided that I definitely didn't want police/EMS involved in my life like that. I reevaluated my feelings about life and what I wanted. I made major changes in my life and my attitude to create a better life where suicide is not an option. It has made a world of difference to live with the goal of behaving with grace and dignity - as much as I can muster - even in very difficult situations. It is hard work. The angry feelings, the sadness, the sputtering "how dare they treat me like that" still go on in my head - for a short time. Of course they do. It's human to have a range of feelings. But I don't usually dwell there too long, now. Not for long enough to decide that suicide is an option. Just long enough to realize that "I" need to address the person/situation and make things change so that I'm all right and life moves on well enough.

    I'm sorry if this has turned into a rant about what I do. I understand very well that when people are in deep pain, their brains are clouded with hopelessness and a sense of helplessness. But it's also true that if we wait a couple of days, our feelings and thoughts tend to settle down and we can then look for and find more constructive, life supporting ways to move forward. Suicide is not an "active option" - it is pre-emptive and stops any hope of better things, ever.

    Yes, we all need support from time to time. I imagine everyone feels overwhelmed from time to time. If we frequently feel overwhelmed to the point that we feel helpless, we might also feel suicidal. An attempt is, in a sense, a cry for help, a cry to see the pain we're in. We do not have to live out those feelings. We have other options.

    My question to everyone here: Do you want to leave the world in moment of strung out feeling and undignified behavior or do you want, instead, to take a deep breath and then seek support and skills, do constructive things to make life better for yourself - in spite of the rough times you've already had?

    I am always sorry when I hear that someone is in deep pain. I always hope that they will reach out and look for constructive things to make life better rather than to end things. I'm sorry any of you are hurting. What things would make life better today - even for a moment? How can you work toward making those things part of your life?
     
  18. Briezy

    Briezy Well-Known Member

    Sorry for the second reply but I had a realization. I have been told so many times that I am doing it for the attention that I actually believe it.