Attracted to twinks: How close to paedophilia?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Krem, Oct 15, 2010.

  1. Krem

    Krem Well-Known Member

    I've been.. browsing, the past few days, and I found quite a hefty collection of twinks. I find them to be quite attractive.. But, I think, some of them could very easily be mistaken for ~15 year olds, if not younger. And I think, perhaps I could continue to find twinks attractive later in life. And added with that burly/large/muscular/hairy guys are (almost) always unattractive to me.. I'm afraid I'm dangerously close to being a paedo. :(

    Anyone willing to pipe in some words of wisdom?
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    hum...that's a tough question...I think that when I was 21, I was kind of attracted to younger guys...but now at 27 its the complete opposite, I'm not attracted to young guys but a bit older...not to depends...

    I didn't know exactly what twinks was but I only looked at one link and saw what you meant...I think those are just fantasies...its like yaoi (gay manga) girls LOVE it...they love the sex, the relationships etc...doesn't mean you want to go out and actually date a teen...guys can look young even if they are dad is 50 and he still looks like 30...when I was younger, alot of woman thought I was his younger

    I think to be a pedo, you'd have to be thinking about kids in sexual things 24hrs a day, 7 days a week...and not be able to do anything else...but then I could be wrong...

    to be honest, I dont like muscular-hairy guys...I like normal ones...even a bit of curves is nice too...I don't know if what I'm saying is helping but that's just my least your I think that's a great thing to do...
  3. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Pedophiles hurt children. Think what you like, like what you like, jack off to what you like, but as long as you don't hurt children, you're not a pedophile.
  4. Entoloma43

    Entoloma43 Well-Known Member

    Pedophilia is attraction to prepubescent children, not 15 year old teenagers, so not even remotely close.
  5. SCUK2009

    SCUK2009 Well-Known Member

    Nail on head. If anything you're an ephebophile (spelling?)

    Pre-pubescent = actual children. If you're attracted to them, then you're a paedophile.
  6. flyingdutchmen

    flyingdutchmen Well-Known Member

    its called JailBate :D
    attractive but to young to touch.
    watching an 15 year old is fine i dont see how that is wrong, having certain thoughts about 14 or 15 year old's is ofcourse a NO-NO but sure there are some attractive girls around for which you cant see wether they are 18 or 15 and staring at them does NOT make you a pedo
  7. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Nothing wrong with that. My mum's in her mid-50's and she admitted to thinking Justin Bieber was attractive the other day.
    Doesn't make her a paedo since it's just a thought/observation/opinion.
  8. Krem

    Krem Well-Known Member

    But it does. The attraction is paedophilia, not the act. Just as attraction to the same gender makes one homosexual, so, too, does attraction to children make you a paedophile.

    (Note, I'm talking about being attracted enough so you'd want to have sex with said person, not simply "Hey, he's handsome.")
  9. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Don't conflate technical and actual usage of a word, especially not when the word has strong connotations. A pedophile is a predator.
  10. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    I agree with aoeu, but would like to point out that in my opinion looking at photos of children would count as hurting them, just indirectly.

    But I think that in your own head, you can do whatever you like, as long as it doesn't manifest itself in the real world. However, the fact that you're asking about this and that it's clearly bothering you suggests to me that you shouldn't be too worried. In my experience, a paedophile doesn't think/realise that what they're doing is wrong.

  11. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Pedos mean harm. By what you have said here is that are you aren't trying to harm them in anyway.

    Ages for teens can be extremely blury, and you obviously don't want to have sex with someone underaged.

    The fact that you actually started a thread on the topic and are concerned that something might be wrong means that you aren't a predator. It's not like your conspiring to rape an 8 year old.
  12. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Yes, I agree. Someone hurt them to cause it.
  13. Socialman

    Socialman Well-Known Member

    Being attracted to people around the ages of 15-19 is called ephebophilia, and it doesn't count as a paraphilia or a mental disorder. Mainly due to the fact that many teens of this age group share characteristics that are near identical with adults. Girls usually end in terms of growth when they hit the age of 15. Which is the reason guys have trouble telling the difference between a 15 year old, or 18 year old sometimes. As long as you don't touch then your fine. Just don't make a habit out of it. Also, I have no clue what twinks means. Is that a UK term?
  14. Socialman

    Socialman Well-Known Member

    Actually, that isn't entirely true. It just means the sexual attraction to children. There are a percentage of pedophiles that don't touch children, and they usually end up committing suicide after being tortured with sexual thoughts. The negative connotation of the word is so strong that they usually stay hidden instead of seeking help. I've read a couple case studies about it.
  15. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Don't conflate technical and actual usage of a word, especially not when the word has strong connotations. Where did I say that before? Hmm...

    Pedophilia is TECHNICALLY defined to be any attraction to pre-pubescents.
    In almost all cases it's used in the predatory sense.

    A twink is a young looking gay man, it's a gay term.
  16. Socialman

    Socialman Well-Known Member

    Yeah, it's technically defined to be a predator according to a US court. The original term from a psychology manual on the other hand does not mean predator. :p
  17. lurktheshadows

    lurktheshadows Well-Known Member

    just a quick note: I have a good friend that's a pedophile, he's one of the most intelligent, kind people you'll ever meet...and he is afflicted and tortured by this every single day of his life...He'll never do anything..but the pain it causes is immense.

    Pedophiles do not necessarily = child molesters.
    and he's now found happiness in a girl that's older than him

    I don't think there's a line...I don't think you can be "dangerously close to a pedophile", you either are or you aren't..

    But like everyone else's not a death sentence, it's not a horrible thing. You can control's going to be hard for you, because you're going to want to engage in detrimental activities...and you're not going to <3

    oh! one last thing: muscles on a guy turn me off..."burliness" does too, you're definitely not alone in that...I like more androgynous looking guys...there are a lot of men out there that don't fit the "strong man" description, so perhaps you just need to keep looking for men around your age..or older ...?.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2010
  18. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    As a high school teacher, I have to work in close contact with teenagers. Do I find some of them attractive? Definitely. I think most normal adults would. You just have to have self-control and never cross the line. I suppose it's much harder for pedophiles though, since they are only sexually attracted to children.
  19. adamblast

    adamblast Member

    Remember, for one thing, that oogling teenage GIRLS is so commonplace that half our culture seems built around it at times.

    Teenage sex objects are one of the prime moneymakers of the entertainment industry. I'm not arguing that it's good, but I *am* arguing, for good or bad, that it's normal.

    There are many things about my being gay that I feel huge shame about, and most of them are irrational by-products of the shame and condemnation I've gotten from society (not to mention the church, and friends and family.)

    So I find some 15-year-olds hot. I also know what lines not to cross, and how to treat people with respect. I also find some 60-year-olds hot. I like twinks, bears, muscled guys, skinny guys, and everything in-between--depending on the guy. I also fantasize about bondage and dominance, and all manner of things that I'd never actually engage in.

    Even if you were *solely* attracted to younger men I wouldn't say it was necessarily a sign of any illness or moral failing on your part, any more than the preference for much younger-looking women is necessarily immoral on the part of, say, most rich men in the world.

    Sounds to me, if anything, like the fact that some of your recent porn pics reminded you enough of child porn to cause you concern means you've reacted properly. Get rid of the stuff that makes you feel icky. There's plenty of 18+ twinks out there, as well as plenty of sexy men of all ages and types.

    Relax, enjoy fantasy as fantasy, and treat all people with appropriate respect and dignity. Delete things that make you feel creepy.