Avoidant personality disorder

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Youlleatamuffinandlikeit, Jul 24, 2012.

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  1. Youlleatamuffinandlikeit

    Youlleatamuffinandlikeit Well-Known Member


    I need someone with Avoidant Personality Disorder to kindly please contact me. I am going through a break-up at the moment and I need to understand this condition my partner claims to have, to see if his behaviour fits this, or if he is in fact just being abusive.

    PLEASE help me. I need to understand.
  2. thepainwithin

    thepainwithin Well-Known Member

    Sounds like me... what's up
  3. Youlleatamuffinandlikeit

    Youlleatamuffinandlikeit Well-Known Member

    You have AvP?

    would you mind if i pm'd you??
  4. Hoth

    Hoth Active Member

    No way he has AVP. People with AVP cannot even have relationship.
  5. self_saboteur

    self_saboteur Member

    I have AvPD. Might be able to answer some of your questions, if you still need help.

    This is not true. It's not impossible for someone with AvPD to have a relationship. Like any disorder, there is some variability in symptoms and severity/impairment. The nature of the disorder (self-imposed isolation, fear of rejection, hypersensitivity, etc.) makes it very difficult to either form or maintain a relationship, but it is possible, especially if the individual with AvPD is learning to combat the avoidant thought processes.
  6. Finance

    Finance Well-Known Member

    I have it, that's why I have business relationships only.

    "APD" sounds so much easier to digest, compared to earlier terms.

    The abusive part, for some, would be as simple as someone getting too close. Or trying to.
  7. AsphyxiateOnWords

    AsphyxiateOnWords If you're 555, then I'm 666.

    What are you people talking about? A symptom of avpd is not desiring social contact but still wanting a close romantic relationship. And APD is antisocial personality which is totally different
  8. AlienBeing

    AlienBeing Well-Known Member

    I have avoidant personality disorder. People with AVP aren't generally abusive but I think I have probably hurt people in attempting to have relationships and then backing out of them out of fear of closeness.
  9. paul1990

    paul1990 Active Member

    I´ve just found out I got this Avoidant personality disorder or whatever.
  10. pppqp

    pppqp Well-Known Member

    Signs and symptoms

    People with avoidant personality disorder are preoccupied with their own shortcomings and form relationships with others only if they believe they will not be rejected. Loss and rejection are so painful that these individuals will choose to be lonely rather than risk trying to connect with others.

    Hypersensitivity to rejection/criticism
    Self-imposed social isolation
    Extreme shyness or anxiety in social situations, though the person feels a strong desire for close relationships

    Avoids physical contact because it has been associated with an unpleasant or painful stimulus
    Feelings of inadequacy
    Severe low self-esteem
    Mistrust of others
    Emotional distancing related to intimacy
    Highly self-conscious
    Self-critical about their problems relating to others
    Problems in occupational functioning
    Lonely self-perception, although others may find the relationship with them meaningful
    Feeling inferior to others
    In some more extreme cases — agoraphobia
    Utilizes fantasy as a form of escapism and to interrupt painful thoughts


    i have all of these symptoms except no. 4
  11. AsphyxiateOnWords

    AsphyxiateOnWords If you're 555, then I'm 666.

    Exactly what pppqp said. I'm Borderline with Avoidant and Dependent features and I'm addicted to being in relationships. I don't know how to live life being single or by myself. And yet, I still isolate and choose not to have friends because I'm afraid of being hurt. I also don't ever approach guys first, I always wait for them to approach me due to the fear of rejection.
  12. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    I think a lot of the time people with this kind of disorder probably do come off as abusive.

    I do think there's a difference between having a disorder and just not wanting to commit, though… and things like sleeping around or being deliberately abusive/saying nasty things/hitting you are inexcusable no matter what because if he loved you then he would try to control himself… because you don't want to put up with that and it really isn't fair, especially if he's sleeping around.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 3, 2012
  13. paranoidxe

    paranoidxe Well-Known Member

    I have Avoidant Personality Disorder and it is pretty much a self-defeating disorder where you are your own worst enemy.
    - You're shy and quiet because you don't know what other people's reactions are going to be or if you're going to look like an idiot for doing or saying <x>
    - You have a hard time taking risks because you are deathly afraid of embarrassment and failure
    - You're quiet around others which may give the impression to others that you are arrogant or you think you're better than others which is totally not the case.

    Its very hard to start a relationship but its not impossible since I've had about 6 or 7 relationships from 18 to 29. If you find people that are patient and non-judgemental and they allow the APD individual time to bring down their defensiveness an APD individual can open up and make a successful relationship. Unfortunately there aren't many people out there that are patient enough for the individual to drop their guard nor is it easy to find individuals that aren't quick to judge.
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