Before you read any furthur, please notice that this post is my truthful state of mind and maybe extremely offensive. And it is a bit long. Dont read if you dont like either of those. My life is worst than death. The only reason keeps me here is anger. Im so fucking pissed. IM SO FUCKING LAME. I hate people. I dont want to live with the damages I feel. Basically I've brooded my life away while as a kid I should be enjoy life experience and making friend and grow up. Now Im fucking boring and dry. I masturbate to keep myself sane. Then feel extremely depressed. Just realized guys are having their way with girls, while I still have puberty emotional issue over girls, BUT IM 24. Whats more, Im living with my goddam mother, who is annoying as hell. Im so fuckin dumb I just woke from a extreme depression of at least over 7 years. I never held a job and made lame excuses of cant find any. I have social phobia, but more or less I got nothing to say to people. Im a loner with no life. Because imagine feeling everybit inferior to people, why because I choose to shut myself out growing up. Now Im just a weirdo, a fucking loser. A virgin LOL too, that is what I most hate myself, not being a man. Im a fucking failure and MOST it IS MY FUKCING FAULT! I look in the mirror and I see my legs are short like they are underdeveloped, cause the years of daily masturbation I do just to keep myself away from anger. I HAVE FUCKING ISSUES! If I stop masturabate for a week, I probably will have enough balls to go berserk or kill myself. Either way I can only see danger and tragedy for me in the future. But Im gonna stop that now. The biggest issue is woman, I want a pure and good girlfriend. Someone who is gonna make me feel I did not wasted my life away. I dont want some chick who has been used by other guys. When I was teens, I could've chose to have a relationship but I shutted myself within instead. I dont want to feel I fail or I failed some teen years ago by making myself unavailable, now they either had other guys or married. I dont want a 24 year old bitch as my girlfriend cause it doesnt feel right. I FUckING HATE HATE MY FUKCING SELF. ITS CAUSE I FAIL I HAD ANGER I HAD ISSUES, that today is what is. BUT i cant back down anymore. Im gonna release the force inside me. I feel like on the verge on change my entire being, Im gonna self destruct. I FUCKING HATE THIS EXISTENCE. I shouldnt be LAME. I should be way better. But Im so PISSED NOW. FUCK EVERYBODY FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! If you are a angry male who will try to piss me off by reply some crap dont bother cause Im just gonna fucking ignore you. I want some replay from woman, better girls, someone young and can understand. I want to know what they think of me HONESTLY. It doesnt matter if it insults me or hurt me as long it comes from opposite sex. It doesnt matter at this point, almost nothing does. I want to know the TRUTH. I cant stand being another breathing corpse this world seem so proud of advertise itself over with. If you are a guy, unless you got something important and insightful to say, FUCK OFF. I DONT WANT HEAR YOUR LAME WHINING, cuz what you've lost I NEVER HAD. GIRLS REPLY PLZ.