"awkward silences"

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by nightfallagain, Jun 18, 2014.

  1. nightfallagain

    nightfallagain Well-Known Member

    Talking with him I feel a real and tangible connection. I recognize him at a deeper level as someone I already know, but in a profoundly spiritual, rather than a worldly sense. He has a soothing and calming effect on me, which enables me to relax and trust. I especially need this before I will open up and speak from the heart and soul. Something I have to say though, is so deeply meaningful and personal, that I am wondering whether to actually speak the words or not. As long as I imagine that they could be received in the wrong way, I remain fearful to even open my mouth. I would do better to adopt an air of detachment. Not to say anything at all. To lay my doubts and cynicism aside. The choices and outcomes are entirely mine. His genuine care and concern has touched me deeply. Discovering someone who seems to understands me; both inside and out. It's time to think about letting go to make room for growth Yet I am disturbed by a powerful current that I sense is present with whom I have already decided it may be best to keep at a distance He is better off by not getting further involve. Painfully obvious as something I have to deal with. I must find the strength and courage to let go as this is what needs to happen. It can be disconcerting to see something end that you've invested time and emotion in, yet if it's over then letting go is the best option. While endings can hurt and prove challenging, there will always be the opportunity to try once more on the horizon. I am faced with balancing my emotional life to make things work in other areas of my life. The first thing I need to do is learn to relax. Breathe in deeply and let myself feel with all my senses and that which is inherent in purposeful breathing. Then look to see what is potentially threatening my overall sense of well-being. Taking the time to notice my feelings will often allow balance to settle over me, I just need to practice until it becomes natural. Yet, my success depends on my ability to see things as they are, and not how I'd like them to be. I always turn inward and suicide becomes forethought