Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by houseofcards, Mar 11, 2011.

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  1. houseofcards

    houseofcards Well-Known Member

    Here's an attempt at writing my about life.. one haiku at a time!

    can become manageable -
    let me show you how.

    Let's try counselling.
    medicines maybe, perhaps?
    let's just do them both.

    Listening to them;
    take what they say as warning,
    then validate it.

    When looking at them;
    know that they are not real.
    then they cease to be.

    Delusional thoughts;
    your mind is going wild -
    grasp reality.

    Insomnia wars;
    perhaps one more drink of tea?
    sleeping is stupid.

    take deep, big, and soothing breaths.
    let go of what's tense.

    Racing racing thoughts;
    write it down, let it be seen.
    genius can be made.

    (all of those are what
    they consider coping tips.
    more like common sense.)

    If all else fails;
    become me and just give up.
    I don't see a point.

    Medicines don't work,
    people don't understand me,
    I can't comprehend.

    What once was easy,
    now is just impossible,
    can't even do work.

    Schoolwork and the training;
    they both are called incomplete.
    Catch up? ha. never.

    I still see him there -
    under that stupid, dumb, tree.
    He will never leave.

    Slowly going back,
    to the very beginning,
    how I used to act.

    All of the progress,
    MONTHS to get me to this point,
    nonexistant. gone.

    Vanished. Just like me.
    off of the face of this earth.
    forgotten. no more.
  2. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

  3. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    House Of Cards, I enjoyed reading these very much. My favorite was the 5th from the top. I want to point out something. These aren't Haikus, they are Senryus. For it to be a Haiku, it has to involve nature, or an act of nature.
    For example:

    waiting in the rain
    tears masked by many droplets
    pain hidden once more

    This is a Haiku and a Senryu. The act of nature (rain) makes it a Haiku. Senryus portray an act of HUMAN NATURE. Both of them follow the same basic for m of 5,7,5 or 3,5,3 syllable count. Which tend to cause the two styles to get confused with each other. Again I enjoyed reading them. :)
  4. houseofcards

    houseofcards Well-Known Member

    thanks for pointing that out, I never knew the difference! All of this is still relatively new to me. Glad you enjoyed reading it - I was super bored last night and couldn't get to sleep/
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