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Baby Alex.

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by alices_ponder, Jun 10, 2010.

  1. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    My little baby has been in heaven now for 1 month and 4 weeks tomorrow. Although I lost you before you were even born. I love you so very much.. :sleepy:

    Its really hard to lose someone you have never met, but yet love uncontrollably. I don't know if there is people on here that have had a miscarriage that has contributed to their depression or suicidal acts & thoughts. But if there is.. I know what your going through and losing your child is extremely hard. It can be even harder when doctors and your friends just say that "it was supposed to happen" or "oh well you never met them so no big deal".

    It hurts so much :( losing my little beautiful baby has been so hard. And it wasn't even long ago I lost them. But there has been days were I have skipped college and just stayed in bed and cried. I really don't know what to do "/
    :angel: xoxooxoxox
  2. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    I'm sorry for your loss :hug: I know its not easy. I've obviously never had a miscarriage because I'm well... a guy. My ex miscarried my twins a few years back and it was even hard for me. It ended up destroying our relationship. I can't even imagine how you must feel.
  3. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your message :hugtackles:
    I am really sorry to hear that sweetheart. Yeah my boyfriend has been extremely upset and low about it all- but he won't talk to me because he is worried he will trigger my feelings and hurt me more than I already am. I hate not knowing what he feels..
    Our relationship is in tatters after losing them though :/ We are trying to fix it but its tough, especially when I only miscarried less than 2 months ago.. Meh.
  4. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    If you ever need to talk my pm box is available or you can post a visitor message on my profile. I'm not an expert but I may be able to help a little.
  5. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    Thank you sweetheart, you dont have to be an expert. Just someone to talk to is nice.. :stars: thank you! xo
  6. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    I'm sorry for your loss, no one should loose a baby :hug:
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm so very sorry for your loss....it's so early in your grief so don't take any notice of what others tell you you should be feeling....
    you have to grieve in your own way and in your own time...
    talking to a grief councelor may help you deal with your loss...*hugs*
  8. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    Thank you very much that means a lot :hugtackles:
    people on the internet are so much better than my friends in real life. :/
  9. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    Thank you very much sweetheart. My friends are all around 16 or 17 and have never been pregnant. They don't understand what it is like to find out that a tiny baby is growing inside you, and to feel the love for that child and to feel and watch them grow inside you. And then for all that to be taken away from you. It is extremely hard. And if it happened to them, they would understand but unfortunately they do not.

    Thank you for the advice about a counsellor :hugtackles: That would be an extremely good idea for me actually.
  10. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Hello Chloe, I'm so sorry to read that you miscarried your baby, how many weeks pregnant were you?
    Miscarriage is devastating, I hope that talking to us here will be some comfort and help.
    I also think going to talk to a counsellor is a very good idea, did the hospital not recommend one?
    Try and encourage your boyfriend to talk to you, you both can get through this but both need the others support.

    Hazel x
  11. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    I am so sorry for your loss, I know there are no words of comfort or words that can ease the pain. I just want you to know I am thinking of you I am so sorry.


    I also agree with Hazel, you need grief counselling, I hope they are able to give you the support you need, and of course we are all here.

  12. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    Thank you very much for the help sweetheart. I was only 10 weeks pregnant :shelbi: I only knew I was pregnant for a short time but it is so hard. No no one recommended a counsellor sweetheart, but I am looking into one myself thank you :) Me and my boyfriend do talk about Alex thankfully, but its hard on us. You know? xoxo
  13. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    Thank you very much Rich :smile: That is such a lovely message to leave me! Everyone on here have been so nice to me so far and extremely helpful.. As I said above, I am looking into getting a counsellor to help me through this grief that I have for my child. :hugtackles:
    Thank you again :smile: xoxoxoxox
  14. nicolaj1992

    nicolaj1992 Member


    This thread title just drew me instantly as I miscarried a baby, which I named Alex as well as I never got to find out if I was having a boy or a girl and Alex is a unisex name. I was only 16 and was five weeks pregnant (I'd only found out about ten days before) when I miscarried on 22nd March 2009.

    In your post you state 'I don't know if there is people on here that have had a miscarriage that has contributed to their depression or suicidal acts & thoughts.' Well mine certainly did as since then I have been admitted to seven different psychiatric units, numerous times (over the past thirteen weeks) and also sectioned and all sorts. I never made the link between the miscarriage and the deterioration in my mental health until a year later (march this year) as for some reason I didn't notice that it had affected me, as much as it did, at the time. I have never spoken to anyone about what happened so am just trying to deal with it on my own but am debating talking to my psychologist about it.

    I think others' suggestion of talking to a counsellor is a good idea as if you deal with what happened sooner rather than later things may be, at least, slightly easier for you than that have been for me.

    A few websites which I have found helpful are: http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/ (which is a charity that provides bereavement counselling - they do have branches in Northern Ireland too) and also http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/ (which provides support and information which you may find helpful).

    If you want to chat then feel free to email me - nicolaj1992@hotmail.com or private message me.

    I hope you find a way to help manage your grief x
  15. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    This seems like only yesterday. And I was actually 12 weeks when I lost my little one. But I have a beautiful earth baby now. I still think about Alex every single day and never sought help.
  16. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    My wife and I suffered 2 miscarriages, and I can tell you that there is a real grieving period. It can also affect the man deeply as well - I had hopes and dreams for the new life, and I also had to watch as the woman I loved suffered.

    I wish you and your boyfriend peace. And please keep posting.