:( baby

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by absolution, Mar 15, 2010.

  1. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    i misscarried yesterday morning.. i cnat get past if this is a good or bad thing...i was not ready for a child and the way i got pregnant is unmentionalble. but all i can think about is my tiny little child coming out way to early and laying lifeless...i should have saved her :( could i have done more? im so confused and lost it hurts...what do i do?
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I can not say whether this was a good thing or a "bad"thing but you mentioned God in your signature and I believe that nothing happens in Gods world without our best interests in mind so perhaps you can take comfort in your faith, often we do not realize what God is saving us from even though it is painful at the time and often later we see the purpose in what has happened to us.

    Please hold hard to your faith and know we are here for you.

    Love and strength Bambi
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No there is nothing you could have done to safe the baby. Miscarriage happens because something is wrong internally and you could not have change that. I hope you can lean on others now and get strong for you in you mind and body. Just know what happened none of it was your fault. take time to heal okay lean on others now.
  4. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    thanks guys :(
  5. alle_vite

    alle_vite Well-Known Member

    Hey i am so sorry for your loss, i lost my daughter at 24+4 weeks so i know the pain your feeling if you ever need to chat pm me
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    The should haves and could haves can eat us alive. i believe you did what you could. Some things just aren't meant to be. I know this is a difficult time for you . You are in my thoughts. :hug:
  7. redemption

    redemption Active Member

    I can't relate to your heartache in this case, it puts some perspective on things for me however, I am so very very very sorry for what you're going through, if you need to talk I'm a good listener.

    // A
  8. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    thanks guys :( HUGS
  9. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    Hi I'm sorry I've only just seen your post. Sending big hugs :hug: and am thinking of you. I know your pain, I have had previous miscarriages and I understand how hard it is and your first instinct is to blame yourself. Like what has been said, the miscarriage was not your fault, there would have been something wrong internally which meant that the baby could not stay full term or grow, none of those things could have been prevented. Loosing a baby is never easy no matter how far along in the pregnancy you were, have you been offered some support since this happened? I never was and wish I had been as it would help with alot of questions etc now. If you have been offered that chance, really think about if it will help you, only you will know that but I'm sure they could help you gain more understanding through it. I hope your ok, if you ever need to talk please PM me xx
  10. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Thanks hun...thanks everyone
  11. LotusFlower

    LotusFlower Antiquities Friend

    I am so sorry you are going through this. I know how hard it is I have had 3 myself. The last I had to have a DNC because it wasn't going to happen on its own. I know the pain and sorrow that comes with it. As well as the guilt. Know there is nothing you could have done. I know that doesn't make it any easyier and sometimes people will say things that they think are helpfull but they are not. (ex- there was probably something wrong with the baby anyways) ingnore those people. A loss is a loss no matter how far along you were. Know that you are not alone in your grief even though it may feel like it. HUGS