Back again after so long

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Bigman2232, Jul 9, 2014.

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  1. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    So it's been quite a while since I was last on these boards. I managed to lose over 100 lbs and I even got a gf for awhile. Things were looking up. I moved across the country to do an internship in hopes that the experience will make getting a job easier. I even loved it for the first month and a half.

    But now I just want to leave and if I do, it kills any hope that I could ever get a job in my field which I suffered through university for. I just don't feel like I'm repsected at all here. I'm a bitch for them to work as hard as they can and I get no reward for my efforts. I'm passed over for chances to work with certain animals for reasons they then ignore for another person. I have gotten no chances to be involved in certain events while others who don't work as hard or have just gotten here do.

    I needed a recharge when it comes to telling myself why I deal with all the hard work and dirt and injuries and seeing an animal I helped get back to health is what would do that, but even that got taken away from me. I busted my ass for 2 and a half months, working and not complaining that I wasnt being given more animals to look after, while others who just got here and aren't even staying as long, were given them instead. Then finally I get more, just to be told that because I got them I couldn't go for my animals release. And just to top it off, some spoiled bitch gets to go for it because she's incompetant enough, that of course she has the free time.

    I just don't know what to do. Everything I've ever tried to do, I've been complemented on how hard I work and that I'm trusted for jobs but I get treated like shit. I get nowhere. I just keep failing and I'm so tired of being a loser. I want this life to end. I'm just so tired of giving it my all and it not meaning anything.
  2. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    :welcome: back Bigman

  3. Hi Bigman

    Hope this post finds you more balanced today.

    You sound like a very empathetic person, and empthy combined with emotional disorder plus working with animals is a challenge.

    I have wanted for so long to at least volunteer at a shelter, or do something to help animals other than adopting, but I know I can't All it would take is for one animal to come into my care whom has been abused and I know I would finish up for the day, clock out, and go hunting. There is a strong believe among animal lovers that the animals we love as domestic pets, who depend on us for everything, when abused or neglected, that the people who did it to them should have the same done to them. It is a difficult impulse to live with, because morally, it is fair, but socially, it is illegal, and we are left feeling helpless to do more, even as we do everything we can to help the animal. I would never suggest trying to emotionally "detach" from loving animals. It sounds like you are very passionate and good at helping them. But it is not the animals that are the trigger. it is the people whom are the trigger, and perhaps you are doing the right thing, just in the wrong place. If you can complete your internship, or if you feel it is too emotionally dangerous for you to stay there among the people who treat you that way, find someplace different to complete your internship requirement, that might be an improvement. In the interim, your focus on the animals is your strength. Focus on them, and emotionally "detach" from the people whom treat you inconsiderately if you can get your emotionsl to let you do that.

    Sometimes a place, or certain people, are simply too "emotionally dangerous" for us to be around, if we live with emotional disorders. Since we are no use to help others unless we are balanced ourselves, the wise course is to remain emitionally "safe" by steering clear of people whom are incsiderate or ignorant or just plain mean. It sounds like your amazing empathy and talent will truly find a place where you can do good for animals and be properly rewarded for it and treated well. In the meantime, remember humans are animals, and when a "predator" personality sees any sign of instability in a "helper" personality, they immediately treat them like prey. It is those predators you need to find a way to avoid, which is hard, because they are everywhere.

    Hope you can step back enough to make some constructive decisions that lead you to an emotionally "safer" path, while continuing to do what you love.

    Capt. Archer.
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